Do Dogs Know When it is Time to Say Goodbye?

No matter how much we prepare ourselves for the inevitable, it is extremely difficult to say good-bye to our furry friends. Even more difficult is making the decision as to when - do we wait a month, a week, or does it have to be today?

Gunner's time was approaching and I prayed that he would let me know when it was time. He did. 

Around eight in the evening, he started to pace and then stand in a corner for a few minutes. He did this all night and I stayed up with him. The first vet appointment available was at three in the afternoon. As much as his human daddy wanted to be there his schedule didn't permit; I had to go alone. 

Gunner's doctor took one look at him and then back at me. There was no need for an examination. "I'll give Gunner a shot that is incredibly fast-acting. He will be gone in a matter of seconds but you can hold him as long as you want to stay with him." I did. 

What is Your Biggest Regret You Would Like to Undo?

Are you one of those people who would rather have folks come visit you or you travel to visit them?  I certainly am!  I know part of my 'problem' is that I am a work addict and if people are visiting me, I can get up earlier than them and stay up later to complete tasks.  

For the same reason, going away on vacation has little appeal because I think of how far behind I will be when I return home.  Do I like being this way?  Nope!  How about you?  Would you rather go away and relax and not stress about getting behind in your work?  Or do you secretly work behind the 'scenes' while you have friends visiting?

When I was asked the question "If you took a dream vacation in reverse, who is the one person you would want to come to you and why?"  I would have to say very loud and clear:  "My family."  I have spent most of my adult life living far away from family and it is a major regret of mine.  How I would love to live near them and enjoy holidays and summer fun with them.  It is time lost and can never be regained.  

How Important Are Holidays to You?

Are you someone who looks forward to and celebrates holidays to the fullest?  I think that most of us have a favorite holiday for specific reasons.  Time off work.  Family time together.  Dressing up.  Giving and receiving gifts.


Remember when you were a kid and it took forever for Christmas to arrive?  Every night you dreamed about that special toy you asked Santa for and hoped you'd get.  You could hardly wait for Halloween to get here so you could wear your new costume and have enough candy to last a month.  I remember hiding my stash so my parents didn't know how much I actually ate.  Thanksgiving can be so exciting with the anticipation of going to grandparents' house for a huge turkey dinner and lots of fun games. But, the best was your birthday -- that special day you didn't have to share with anyone.  It was all about you - gifts for you -- your favorite chocolate cake - and a day off from chores.

How Do You Survive a Broken Heart When You Lose a Child?

For those of us who have lost a child through death, the pain is like none other. Yet, there are many parents who have lost a child in another way.  Their grief and pain are no different and there is rarely any closure.






Losing a child through estrangement, there are no flowers or comfort given.  There is no service to help bring closure.  People do not rally around you and bring you meals to help you get through those days when getting out of bed and facing reality is more than you can bear. The parents are often good and loving parents who are tossed aside emotionally by their child for real or perceived shortcomings.  The child does not negotiate but merely leaves; often without an explanation.  The parents are left grieving this loss by themselves - a loss beyond any comprehension as to what happened.

Birth Is Not For the Weak

All of us have days we will never forget.  Sometimes these memories are worth remembering and other times we wish we could forget them.  Last Sunday was a day that will be etched into my memory bank forever.  Not only for the course of events that day but the observations I made regarding human behavior, especially of young children.

I have been forever proud of my daughter, Rochelle, and that pride grows the more I observe her as a mother of two small children and caregiver to her many pets.

Rochelle's husband works in the arctic north and is gone weeks at a stretch.  They live on a hobby farm that includes livestock and five dogs.  She has rescued animals from abusive situations since she was a young girl and has become educated in the art of nurturing these creatures back to health through sheer hands-on experiences.

Two years ago, Rochelle rescued a Bernese Mountain dog who had been living in a kennel too small for her 80-pound body.  The dog had zero knowledge of boundaries, boundless energy and was not the sharpest tool in the shed.  But she was one of the happiest dogs you could ever meet.  She loved everyone and showed it with kisses that were not necessarily welcomed.  My grandson adopted her as 'his' dog and named her "Charrrrrrlie."

Although she weighed 80 pounds, she was still a puppy and had 'accidents.'  One time she had to pee and not making it to the front door in time,  she peed in the kitchen while shaking her large frame shooting pee across the room and spraying everyone and everything within close vicinity.

At the time she was also in heat and couldn't be left outside without supervision. Because she was in heat, Rochelle put a pair of men's underwear on her. She tied Charlie up to the bedpost while cleaning the mess only to turn around to find her standing there with her leash in her mouth.  She had gnawed through it in the course of a few minutes.  The underwear was twisted around her ankles.  You couldn't help but love this hilarious dog.  She's the one in diapers below:

When You Least Expect It -- And It's Bad News

Ever feel like someone hit you with a baseball bat?  Right across the gut? Hard. Bad news can often affect us like that.  It hurts.  Deep.


In recent years, I wonder what is wrong with me when something traumatic happens in my life. I don't handle it as well as in the past. Does aging force me to deal with things differently than when I was younger? Does age make it more difficult to deal with stress?

Should You Befriend The Mother Of Someone Who Tried To Destroy You?

When she made the appointment for aesthetic services, her name sounded vaguely familiar.  I assumed I would recognize her when she arrived.  I didn't, but my co-worker did and summoned me into the reception area with urgency.

"Do you realize who that is?"  she asked staring wildly.  The look was a definite indication that my client was not welcome there.

"No....why?"

"That's Roger's mother!"

Losing a Child? Does the Pain Ever Stop?

"I am getting pressure from my family.  I need to have my son back."  I fell into my chair not believing what I was hearing.  We had our son since he was three days old and now a year later, she was asking for him back.  Our lawyer said "Give him back."  Words that will resonate fear and pain forever.

When I wrote my memoir, Battered Hope, one of the many traumas I share is losing our young son and the pain that penetrated like none other.  Then a year later, we adopted another little boy and his mother changed her mind before we ever got to hold him. I knew I was going to be a mommy but my hope was withering. 

I'm Throwing a Pity Party For You and Everyone is Invited

Stressed. Hopelessness. Grief. Fear. Depressed. Hurt. Pain. Sadness. Overwhelmed. Tired. Angry.

How often have we experienced one of these emotions or any similar ones and felt we had to hide it from everyone?

Or what about this scenario? You are having one of your worst days in a long time and someone asks you how you are doing. In that split second you vacillate between “Should I tell them?” or “I wish they would go away.”

I remember being so good at hiding my pain that I answered that question with another question – “How are YOU?” It threw the conversation totally on them and they didn't even realize I never answered them.

I threw many pity parties during those years and no one ever showed up. After overcoming insurmountable hardships, I look back and wish I had had someone to share with, someone who would not judge me.

So …..... For those of you out there that need a chance to vent or to share your pain or whatever is bothering you......... Tell me, a stranger, how do you feel today? Sometimes it is a lot easier to talk to someone whom you have never met.

I'm a great listener and who knows, I may have been down a similar path and can empathize. If you want to share but don't want to do it publicly – just email me. I respond to all emails.

I would love to hear from you.

Pictures are courtesy of Chronic Curve and Sometimes Andrea Writes - Someecards

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