No Greater Love Than a Wanted Child - A Daughter

I wish I had words to describe my love and admiration for my daughter. I try -- but come up short. I have watched her survive great trauma in her young life and she never complains. She was a little girl when her father was in a serious car accident, leaving him disabled. She did everything she could to help me, encourage me and make me laugh. She was strong and a wealth of support for her mom. She has lost friends to cancer and suicide but is always the first one to console those around her.  She has lost much and endured immeasurable pain.  She is always first to offer a helping hand.  She lost her brother when he chose to walk away from our family seven years ago and broke our hearts.

Her dad and I were told we would never have children.  After 14 long, difficult years of waiting, we had our baby girl -- and now she is a mom. 

My daughter on the left.  Her daughter on the right.

This is NOT the End of Your Story

As beautiful as the Christmas season is, it can be very difficult for many people to enjoy.  There are those of us who have lost someone close, perhaps a family member or dear friend.  It has been said that the 'first' Christmas after such a loss is especially challenging.  There are so many triggers to the memory of that loss.  

But we pick ourselves up off the ground and know that each year it will be a bit easier.  Or is it?  For some, it is still a serious emotional struggle.  They may hide it well and few people know or understand the pain of that loss.  When my son and his family walked away from our family five years ago, I maintained an attitude of hope that he would return before the year-end.  I will continue to maintain that attitude although sometimes that thread of hope gets thinner - I still hang on.  I will never give up.  I know it is not the end of the story.

What that loss has done is make me more empathetic to those who have lost much more than I have.  We cannot measure the bereavement for anyone other than ourselves because each of us process pain differently.  

But the season of Christmas is a reminder that we have much to be thankful for, to be joyful and enjoy the good memories and new ones we are about to make.

What memories we will make this
Christmas with these precious ones

Are You Sitting on the Fence?

Are you a black and white kind of person? All or nothing?  Or are you easily influenced and possibly can have your mind changed regarding your 'convictions?'

In many ways, I am black and white - all or nothing.  However, I have learned that being this way may not allow for change and one could become quite close-minded.  Take food for example. I love or hate.  Rarely is there a middle ground.  I enjoy cooking and will try new recipes but they must pass the love or hate test and I will not make them again if they fall into the 'like' category.   

I have strong principles regarding my ethics, morals and the way I treat people.  I work diligently at not judging others at face value but choose to look beneath the surface and find out why they may do or say things I do not necessarily agree with.  

How to Push Through a Painful Experience

When we go through any type of trauma in our lives, it affects us. How it affects us can be either a negative or positive experience. Hopefully, we can learn from the experience and apply what we learned if we ever go through a similar one again. But, that is often easier said than done, isn't it?

Sometimes we do not realize we have "been here before" until it's over. Pain works that way.  Pain is just that - PAIN.  When we are in the middle of it, it feels like a new experience.  Yet, it rarely is.

There are many types of pain that we experience in life.  There are times when we are blindsided and experience pain on a level we had not realized we were capable of handling.  When we look back at those experiences we often wonder how we made it through -- but we did.  And we are stronger for it.
Pain takes on many forms in your life.  Rejection, loss, physical or emotional trauma, abuse, divorce, the list goes on.

Do You Have Trouble Finishing What You Started?

Do you struggle with finishing a project?  Do you have a great idea and then run into obstacles and shelve it, rather than finish it?  Do you sometimes get discouraged because you run into hurdles and can't seem to figure out how to complete the task?

I want to encourage you to do whatever it takes to fulfill that dream you had.  I speak from experience as most of my life I have been battered, beaten, broken and had more shattered dreams than any one person should have to endure.  But HOLD ON...You can do it!

Keep your focus.  Don't forget the dream.  Never forget in the darkness what you have seen in the light.  You will be rewarded.  Sometimes it may not be as quickly as you had hoped but perseverance pays off.

After years of struggling in a variety of arenas, I am finally seeing the fruit of all my labor.  Yes, there were many times when I felt it just wasn't worth it, but I assure you, it will be!

It took me ten years to write my memoir and it was not for lack of desire or time.  It was because it was so painful.  But when it finally went to print, doors of opportunity to write and to speak have poured into my life.

As difficult as it is to believe, all the pain and ugliness of the past can be turned into something good. We need to be tenacious with our dreams, our goals and see them through to the end.

WHAT IF??????

I AM HERE - Untold Stories Of Everyday People

JUST PUBLISHED - FREE NEXT TWO DAYS

Something very exciting has happened – I have a story published in a book! It’s called I Am Here: The Untold Stories of Everyday People and is a collection of true, funny, heart-wrenching, and ultimately inspiring stories. It’s format is similar to Chicken Soup for the Soul and if you like those books, you’ll like this one.

Sorry But Your Husband Has Irreversible Brain Damage

I remember the first time I heard those words.  It was unexpected.  "We're sorry but there is nothing more we can do."

Doctors are supposed to fix what ails you.  In my twenties, I was told I had two years to live if I didn't have a hysterectomy.  It is 40 years later and I'm still here.  I had a baby.  So, even though these words about my husband were terrifying, I knew there had to be another way.  I'd find the answer. We could fix him.  Click here for that story.

In 1995 my husband was waiting in an intersection to make a left-hand turn.  The guy in the big truck making a left-hand turn from the opposite direction.... didn't see him and hit him head-on.  He blamed the sun. 

 

Arrested, But Why?

The silence was deafening.  The only sounds I heard were coming from inside my head.  I could hear the blood rushing through my veins from the palpitations of my heart.  My sweater was moving to the uneven rhythm.

I had to keep telling myself to remain calm.  I must be very careful not to appear flustered or guilty.  I tried taking deep breaths to slow down the pace of my heart which took every ounce of my strength and fortitude.  I grabbed my knees with both hands in an effort to stop them from shaking.  But that didn't seem to help, and fear prevented me from thinking rationally.

Losing a Child? Does the Pain Ever Stop?

"I am getting pressure from my family.  I need to have my son back."  I fell into my chair not believing what I was hearing.  We had our son since he was three days old and now a year later, she was asking for him back.  Our lawyer said "Give him back."  Words that will resonate fear and pain forever.

When I wrote my memoir, Battered Hope, one of the many traumas I share is losing our young son and the pain that penetrated like none other.  Then a year later, we adopted another little boy and his mother changed her mind before we ever got to hold him. I knew I was going to be a mommy but my hope was withering. 

Ever Feel Hopeless? Helpless? True Story That Will Grab You

Battered Hope is a true story of a courageous, strong woman who refused to accept defeat.  Through her life of trauma in several arenas, she overcame incredible odds and became successful.  Here is the first chapter...

CHAPTER ONE

     The silence was deafening. The only sounds I heard were coming from inside my head. I could hear the blood rushing through my veins from the palpitations of my heart. My sweater was moving to the uneven rhythm. I had to keep telling myself to remain calm. I must not appear flustered or guilty. I tried taking deep breaths to slow down the pace of my heart which took every ounce of my strength and fortitude. I grabbed my knees with both hands in an effort to stop them from shaking. But that didn’t seem to help, and fear prevented me from thinking rationally.