How Do You Survive a Broken Heart When You Lose a Child?

For those of us who have lost a child through death, the pain is like none other. Yet, there are many parents who have lost a child in another way.  Their grief and pain are no different and there is rarely any closure.






Losing a child through estrangement, there are no flowers or comfort given.  There is no service to help bring closure.  People do not rally around you and bring you meals to help you get through those days when getting out of bed and facing reality is more than you can bear. The parents are often good and loving parents who are tossed aside emotionally by their child for real or perceived shortcomings.  The child does not negotiate but merely leaves; often without an explanation.  The parents are left grieving this loss by themselves - a loss beyond any comprehension as to what happened.

Dear Prodigal Son

Dear Son:

Today is your birthday.  I believe every mother remembers the birth day of her child on their special day.  It does not matter how many years go by.  Wasn't it only yesterday I held your tiny body in my arms and welcomed you into this world?

You looked at me.  No, you stared.  In fact, you stared so long I was concerned.  Aren't newborns supposed to sleep more?  But, you just looked at me, for hours.  You were three days old.  Although the adoption seemed to take forever, nine months after we applied, we got the call.

"You have a son.  He is perfect.  You can pick him up in three days."

There were no words to describe the impact those words had on me.  I was now a mother.  Your mother.  No child was ever loved more.

And no mother could possibly grieve more.  Just after your 31st birthday two years ago,  you left us. You walked away.  You tossed our love away.  You broke our hearts.  I thought I would die.  If we knew how to fix it, we would.  Only God knows.   I will never.......ever.....give up hope.  We long for the day of your return.  This mother needs to feel her arms around her son, to hold him again.

Happy Birthday, dear son.  We love you.  We have always loved you.  We will love you forever.

Mommy

In the past two years many women have shared this same scenario with me.  We need each other.  Do you know anyone who has lived this nightmare?

Photo courtesy of mypeyronios.com

Yes, You Can Die Of A Broken Heart

There are many factors that contribute to a condition known as Broken Heart Syndrome.  Although it has been around for centuries, the medical profession has only begun to recognize it as a medical condition since the 1990's. 

They believe the condition is brought on by an adrenaline rush that happens shortly after a severe stressful situation. The left ventricle of the heart takes on a cone-like shape which resembles the shape of a pot the Japanese use to capture octopus called “tako-tsubo” which means “fishing pot for trapping octopus. “Tako-tsubo Cardiomyopathy” is now Broken Heart Syndrome's medical name.