Do You Believe New Year's Resolutions Work?

When asked what my realistic
goals were for the new year, 
it brought up my dislike for 
New Year's resolutions.  

Even though I may have good
intentions, making a New Year's 
resolution rarely  works. 
The stats prove it.

I am a driven, motivated, hard-working woman who has daily, weekly, and monthly 

goals.  And I beat myself up severely if I don't attain those goals.  I am known to push 
myself to the limit to complete a task.  I run a few businesses and also travel
as a speaker which leaves me no choice but to be organized and focused.  In addition, 
my talk show and book tours are founded on the concept of never ever giving up.  
This is why I only make realistic goals that I know I can attain.

What Do You Think About the Most - Your Future or Your Past

A new year is usually the time we reflect on our past.  It is quite normal to wonder what would have been different if you had or not done something.  If the past year was traumatic, we might wonder what would have happened if we had made a different decision.

This is a blogging challenge called Secret Subject Swap and I was asked to answer this question posted by Minette at Southern Belle Charm:  If you could go back 20 years for one hour and change the rest of your life, what would you change and why?

If Only You Had Not Made That Mistake, Then What?

This is a Secret Subject Swap blogging challenge.  Each month a group of bloggers is given a secret challenge to interpret in their own way.  The challenges are just that -- to make you step out of your comfort zone and share your thoughts about that subject in a new way.

My challenge this month gripped my heart.  It would take a book to be able to answer it but then again, that is why I wrote my memoir.  Battered Hope was written about so many traumas in my own life so other people would be able to relate to me on a variety of levels.   

Here is the question posed to me this month and my answer is in the form of other questions:

Has there ever been a time in your life where, in the heat of the moment, you would have literally sold your soul for a different outcome if it was an actual possibility and not just a phrase?

How Do You Divide Up Your Time?

Do you have a hobby?  Do you want a hobby?  Do you think hobbies are important? Recently I was asked to answer the question, "Do you have a favorite hobby and why do you like it so much?"

First of all, the question implies that I have more than one hobby and that one should be my favorite.  I thought long and hard - about 2 minutes - and couldn't figure out what my hobby was so tabled it for awhile.  Over the course of a few days, I continued to think about it and nope, couldn't come up with any hobby I might enjoy.

The definition of hobby is 'an activity done regularly in one's leisure time for pleasure.'

AHA! -- now we are getting somewhere.  

1 - I love to eat.  I enjoy cooking.
2 - I love mysteries and problem solving -- born a fixer.  
3 - I love to work and rarely stop to do anything else.

1. Turn your hobby into a business

Is There A Right And Wrong Side Of Anger?

I believe that most anger starts as an annoyance but can turn into rage - if allowed.  To get angry is expressing a normal emotion but out of control it can be destructive.  It can destroy relationships, careers and most definitely, your health.  Anger is a natural response to a threat and helps us defend ourselves but must be controlled to be beneficial. 

You can be assertive when you are angry; expressing your feelings calmly and respectfully allowing you to get your point across without being offensive.  An unhealthy choice is to suppress anger which can lead to passive-aggressive behavior and hypertension or depression.  It is crucial to find a way to vent without hurting others or ourselves. Otherwise it can be a one-way street without a way to turn around and take back what had been said.

Are You A Victim or A Victor? The Choice is Yours

The definition of Victor is:  One who defeats an adversary; the winner in a fight, battle, contest, or struggle.

The definition of Victim is:  One who is deceived or cheated, by his or her own emotions or ignorance, or by the dishonesty of others. 

Many of us were cheated and abused and hurt and taken advantage of by others.  It is essential that we determine not to allow our emotions to overrule our intelligence.  A wise man once told me "When you buy the thought, you buy the lie!"  We must learn to say NO to negative thoughts, to defeatist ideas, to martyr attitudes.  The more you do it, the better you get at it.

An Interview That Digs A Little Deeper (Ask Away Friday)

Today I am swapping questions with fellow blogger, Rea Alducente of Reality Bites.  She is a beautiful young woman from a beautiful country, the Philippines.  Rea is married and has a three year old son.  She has a challenging job as a Lead Trainer in a BPO company.  She handles new hire classes helping people become better at their jobs.  Her passions are photography and blogging.  Please visit her blog - she shares her thoughts on parenting, life, happiness....... and of course, chocolates.

Here is our interview -- I loved the intense questions she asked me

I'm a Lead Trainer in a BPO company. I handle new hire classes and help people from all walks of life become better at their job, but there's actually more to that than meets the eye.  - See more at: http://www.reaalducente.com/p/abou.html#sthash.X3SwJQMD.dpuf

I'm a Lead Trainer in a BPO company. I handle new hire classes and help people from all walks of life become better at their job, but there's actually more to that than meets the eye.  - See more at: http://www.reaalducente.com/p/abou.html#sthash.X3SwJQMD.dpuf

I'm a Lead Trainer in a BPO company. I handle new hire classes and help people from all walks of life become better at their job, but there's actually more to that than meets the eye. 

- See more at: http://www.reaalducente.com/p/abou.html#sthash.X3SwJQMD.dpuf

I'm a Lead Trainer in a BPO company. I handle new hire classes and help people from all walks of life become better at their job, but there's actually more to that than meets the eye. 

- See more at: http://www.reaalducente.com/p/abou.html#sthash.X3SwJQMD.dpuf

I'm a Lead Trainer in a BPO company. I handle new hire classes and help people from all walks of life become better at their job, but there's actually more to that than meets the eye. 

- See more at: http://www.reaalducente.com/p/abou.html#sthash.X3SwJQMD.dpuf

1.  Laughter is one of your greatest weapons in dealing with life.  What makes you laugh the most?  What generally makes you frown?

#AskAwayFriday Another Great Exchange

Friday is here again and in the midst of enjoying family time, cookouts, and fireworks, it is also time to enjoy another amazing week of #AskAwayFriday! 
 
What is #AskAwayFriday? Well...   #AskAwayFriday was created by the amazing Penny from Real Housewife of Caroline County as a way to connect with other bloggers with a great Q & A session of 10 questions and 10 answers, between two bloggers! By offering a wonderful opportunity to get to know others while allowing others to get to know you and of course there is also the added bonus of making great friends along the way which is one of the best parts of this online world! Now to welcome our wonderful #AskAwayFriday hosts...




Tamara from Tamara Like Camera, Tiffany from Mrs. Tee Love Life Laughter, Christy from Uplifting Families, Stacey from This Momma's Ramblings and Amber from Bold Fit Mom
This week we welcome a brand new co-host, for the next two weeks, the amazing...Carol from  Battered Hope!




Carol from Battered Hope is an author, public speaker, health coach and so much more. She shares all those sides of herself with you on her site. Carol is always willing to share her story and her encouragement with anyone who may need it because as she says, “If I Can Overcome Tragedies, So Can You." So...grab our button, follow our amazing hosts and co-host, hop through the great link ups and make some amazing new friends!







I am honored to be co-hosting this week's Ask Away Friday.  It is one of the best blog ideas I have seen for getting acquainted with your fellow bloggers.  I encourage you to check out all the links and give it a try.  You can be involved as often or as little as you want to be and I know you will also enjoy being 'interviewed' and sharing your story to other bloggers.

This week I am swapping questions with Tiffany “MrsTee” Haywood  


 

She is mom to six children in what she calls 'Team Haywood.'  Their ages range from 19 down to 3.  Specifically 19, 17, 15, 7, 5 and 3.  Whew!  I get tired just thinking about that!  She is an active blogger.  She is SUPER MOM and SUPER BLOGGER and I hope you check out her site to enjoy her laughter and positive attitude.  She has been labeled a blogging ninja.






 Here are the questions she posed to me this week:

1.  I see that you have a love for dogs.  Have you always enjoyed dogs and their company or did it develop later in life?

I can't remember a time I didn't love dogs. I wrote 26 dog posts in April using the 26 letters of the alphabet.  These are stories of the dogs I have had and those I have now.  They will make you laugh and of course, cry.

2.You love to cook ethnic food.  What's your favorite dish to make and why?

We rarely eat 'American' food so it is difficult to pick one as a favorite.  My hubby can't get it spicy enough and although I like it a bit more mild, we love East Indian, Mexican, Jamaican, Szechwan Chinese. 

3.  You say you are the most patient person in the world.  Has there ever been a situation where someone wore that patience thin?

Every day.  Right after I say I am the most patient, I say am the most impatient.  I am a Type A personality.  I want it done NOW and if I expect that of myself than I expect it from everyone else.  That is where my impatience shows.  But.......my hubby was in a car accident 20 years ago and suffered a brain injury, a stroke and dystonia.  He was bed ridden for six years.  You learn patience real fast.  I learned quickly how important it is not to allow him to see the difficulty I had in dealing with his problems, his disability or his frustration.  I had to bite my tongue, wipe away tears and make life appear as normal as possible.  Patience is a virtue and although I have learned a lot, I still have a long way to go.

4.  How did you discover your love and passion for public speaking?

My father was a minister and it was expected of us kids to be ready to do whatever dad needed us to do -- play the piano, sing a song, share a story, teach a class.....

When I was three my daddy wanted me to sing a song for the Christmas concert.  When it was my turn, I marched up on the stage, turned around, bent over, pulled up my dress and said,  "LOOK....NEW PANTIES."  Maybe it was that first laugh I got from the audience that made me realize this is what I wanted to do with my life.

5.  What is your favorite summertime activity?

Hate is a strong word -- but I do not like summer, at all.  I love winter, spring and fall.  If we didn't need to have summer, that would be fine with me.  I have always had an internal temperature higher than most people, maybe due to the crazy pace I keep.  Consequently, I don't function well in warm weather and stay indoors as much as possible in the summer.  Weird, huh?

6.  If you could have a public speaking engagement anywhere and to any audience where and who would they be?

Mmmmmm....... I love all audiences and I can always get them laughing and crying, no matter what the venue.  So, I am not sure.  The bigger the audience the better (more interaction).

7.  Where is your dream vacation destination (cost is not an option)?

My daughter asks me this question a lot.  I just don't have an answer.  I am a workaholic who doesn't think about vacations (crazy, huh?)  But, I would have to answer this by saying ----- Disneyland with my grandson.


8.  Use these three letters to describe yourself:  L  D and T

Interesting choice of letters.  L for Leader, D for Determined and T for Tenacious

9.  Ice cream, cake or pie:  which would you pick for a dessert?

You mean I can't have all three????  Ice cream, ice cream with cake, ice cream with pie.  Chocolate, of course.

10.  What is your favorite way to cool down on a hot summer day?

Don't leave my AC in my office.

I loved Mrs. Tee's questions because it made me think.  She made me realize how much I need a vacation -- maybe I should rethink the whole vacation bit.  The problem is, I would always be worried about all the work that would be piling up and waiting for me when I got back home.


<a href=" http://thismommasramblings.com/”target="_blank"><img src="http://i1308.photobucket.com/albums/s608/ssgannett/AAFBadge200_zpsb37e620f.png" border="0" alt="#AAF photo AAFBadge200_zpsb37e620f.png"/></a>
Be sure to check out our Facebook page "AskAwayFriday" for a great place to meet up and send out a #BuddyRequest if you need a partner to swap with!
  Would you like to join in on the #AskAwayFriday fun as a co-host? Click on the link below and fill out the form! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1UhIFHDZT8-hFtNjHU7v5HHqM1N9JWq7eSd_5aO_MOdY/viewform    By adding your email to this link up, you will be added to email correspondence that may be sent by one of our hosts, you may opt out at any time.     Hosts reserve the right to remove any links that do not pertain to the #AskAwayFriday theme.

Never Give Up Hope - Guest Post

When Corinne Rodrigues, blogger, writer, motivator,  asked me to guest post on her blog, Everyday Gyaan, I was honored.  I met her through a blogging challenge at Write Tribe less than a year ago.  She has graciously taught this novice various aspects of blogging with a lot of patience on her part.  She started the blog at Write tribe to motivate and support her fellow bloggers and writers.  I know you will benefit by connecting with her blogs.

Thank you, Corinne, for this opportunity.  

Here is the guest post I did on her blog:   Never Give Up Hope  

Over the course of ten years of writing my memoir, I struggled to find the perfect title.  The message I wanted to convey to my readers was that it did not matter what you have gone through, there is always the expectancy that tomorrow will be a better day.  I received a lot of title suggestions from family and friends but nothing seemed to click until my daughter was designing the book cover and suggested 'Battered Hope.'  The more I thought about it, the more I liked it.  I realized it told my entire story in two words.


Please go to Guest Post on Everyday Gyaan to read more.

Related articles:

• Guest Post at Everyday Gyaan: How Gratitude Will Help You Cope

Write a Review

Write a review about a book you love.  Write a review or discuss a book you love in detail.  That is the assignment!

I have read this book many times.  Sometimes I have read one chapter over and over and each time I read it I try to read it from a different perspective.

I read it to get a general feeling about the story.  Then I would read it to see how it flowed. Then I tried reading it from various points of views.  I would read it from a man's point of view, from a woman's point of view and then from a young woman's point.  Each time, I would get something more out of it.  Almost each time I would laugh and cry and feel the emotion of each chapter.

Ever Feel Hopeless? Helpless? True Story That Will Grab You

Battered Hope is a true story of a courageous, strong woman who refused to accept defeat.  Through her life of trauma in several arenas, she overcame incredible odds and became successful.  Here is the first chapter...

CHAPTER ONE

     The silence was deafening. The only sounds I heard were coming from inside my head. I could hear the blood rushing through my veins from the palpitations of my heart. My sweater was moving to the uneven rhythm. I had to keep telling myself to remain calm. I must not appear flustered or guilty. I tried taking deep breaths to slow down the pace of my heart which took every ounce of my strength and fortitude. I grabbed my knees with both hands in an effort to stop them from shaking. But that didn’t seem to help, and fear prevented me from thinking rationally.

Battered Hope - A Memoir to Remember

When my daughter turned 16, she went on a trip for fourteen days and left me with her new puppy, a miniature Dachshund. This little guy named Louis Vuitton was one intelligent dog. I made notes of his escapades and took pictures during this two-week stay.