Friday, November 9, 2018

Do You Live Life With Regrets?

Life is too short

Nothing makes you more aware of fleeting time than your birthday.  I believe each of us has our own timeline embedded in our mind as to how long we will live.  Many of us feel like we have crossed a milestone when we live beyond the number of years that our parents lived.

We are also constantly reminded how short life is; that we need to live it to the fullest and not have regrets.  We need to make sure we forgive those who hurt us, no matter how difficult that might be.  Science has proven that bitterness takes its toll on our psyche and can cause health issues resulting in a shorter life.  

Life is too short

Yet, as we approach our 'golden years' I am convinced this term means different things to different people.  I have heard friends say how much they look forward to their senior years and retiring from work.  Many are anxious to travel and visit places they were never able to when they were working.

Some people may dread those years fast approaching and what it may mean to their health which is already compromised.


But if 40 is the new 60 then 50 must be the new 70.  I passed one of those turning points recently and cannot grasp the fact that time has marched on so quickly.  We all say that, "Where did the time go?"  or "It seems like only yesterday..."  When we think about it and remember all the accomplishments, failures, achievements, and heartbreaks, it shocks us back to reality.  When our children or friends have a birthday, we realize we, too, are aging even if we do not feel it.

I have tried not to think of my life in terms of a number of years.  I started a new career at an age when most people retire.  I am busier now than I have even been in my life.  I have no health issues and have the energy to burn.  When I am reminded of how 'old' the calendar says that I am, it is astonishing.  I am starting over without any thought of retirement.

Time is running out

Personally, I have many regrets but I refuse to dwell on them.  To do that, I would be severely depressed.  I know people who constantly talk about the past in a negative way; a bad marriage, wayward kids, their abusive childhood or any number of instances in their lives they wish they could change.

Life 'is what it is.'  It is what we make of it no matter how tough it may have been.  Attitude during and after extreme trauma will make or break us.  Period!  

Smile - life is short

I've had my share of terrible experiences.  My memoir smacks of at least 12 traumatic events that any one of them would devastate most people.  Most of those events were a result of people hurting or abusing me or my family.  They were not necessarily the result of a bad decision I had made.  Cancer.  Loss of a child, more than once.  Corrupt business partners who stole our thriving business (and yes, more than once).  Being gang raped and left for dead.  An abusive first marriage.  My husband serving a prison sentence when wrongfully accused (and later pardoned but the damage had been done)!

Each time I made the choice to not hold a grudge, to not seek revenge.  I knew that those who hurt us would one day pay dearly for what they did, even if I never found out about it.  It was my choice just as it is my choice to live my life as a victor or a victim.  I choose the former and it keeps me happy.

Time is running out

My precious husband of 46 years gave me a surprise birthday party this past week for one of those milestone birthdays.  After all these years together, I never had one clue he was planning this.  I was completely shocked and blessed by so many friends and family.  

birthday cake

At the party, my daughter suggested everyone share their fondest memory of me and here is one I will never forget.  I have known this gal for almost three decades which makes her aware of the grief I had endured.  She said, "I will never forget her laugh.  I remember the first time I heard it.  She has maintained that laugh no matter what life threw at her.  I wish I had that energy and that approach to life."

And that has always been my secret.  I keep laughing.  I try to entertain everyone I come in contact with -- even if it is for a moment in the grocery store line-up.  There are many sad people in the world and they need to have someone make them smile.  

Life is too short.  It goes by too quickly.  We can only live it once.  We do not get a restart button.

I think of my precious son every single day.  The greatest gift I could have received on this birthday would have been to hear from him.  But it did not happen.  He and his family walked out of lives almost seven years ago -- no explanation.  We have no idea why.  We cry.  We pray.  We believe that someday he will realize how much we love him and return.  Until then we have hope and it has to be enough for now.

Don't hold grudges

Life is too short.  And sometimes, it may be too late.  We have no guarantee there will be a tomorrow.

This was a Secret Subject post in response to this month's blogging secret challenge.  It was:  Life is too short......

Other bloggers had different secrets to share -- here they are:

Baking in A Tornado
The Lieber Family Blog
The Bergham Chronicles
The Blogging 911
Cognitive Script 
Part Time Working Hockey Mom
Sparkly Poetic Weirdo

Friday, October 19, 2018

Ever Have One Stress on Top of Another?

Ever feel like you are hitting your head against the wall -- especially when dealing with government agencies?  My life, my memoir, and my talk show all echo the same message -- I never quit.  "No" is a word rarely in my vocabulary especially when I experience an injustice.   

I sold an amplifier on eBay last May that the post office damaged extensively.  The man who purchased it mailed it back to me for a refund, RATHER than submit a damage report at his local PO.  Consequently, I was denied my claim of over $1,000.  I submitted three appeals and they were each turned down for the same reason.  The parcel was securely packed so that was not an issue.  It was denied strictly because the buyer jumped the gun and sent it back to me demanding a refund.  

I researched on how to take the PO to small claims court.  You can't.  I thought I had exhausted my resources after spending numerous hours on the phone with various branches of the claim department -- all to no avail.  Three strikes and you are out.  You can't submit another appeal.

Then I contacted the Attorney General of the US in D.C. and registered my complaint about three weeks ago.  Yesterday I received a phone call from the head office of the USPS and they said they were reopening the case; and after I submit the pictures, they will resolve this for me.

Friday, October 5, 2018

What is Your Biggest Regret You Would Like to Undo?

Are you one of those people who would rather have folks come visit you or you travel to visit them?  I certainly am!  I know part of my 'problem' is that I am a work addict and if people are visiting me, I can get up earlier than them and stay up later to complete tasks.  

For the same reason, going away on vacation has little appeal because I think of how far behind I will be when I return home.  Do I like being this way?  Nope!  How about you?  Would you rather go away and relax and not stress about getting behind in your work?  Or do you secretly work behind the 'scenes' while you have friends visiting?

When I was asked the question "If you took a dream vacation in reverse, who is the one person you would want to come to you and why?"  I would have to say very loud and clear:  "My family."  I have spent most of my adult life living far away from family and it is a major regret of mine.  How I would love to live near them and enjoy holidays and summer fun with them.  It is time lost and can never be regained.  

Friday, September 21, 2018

Who Should Care About Texting and Driving?

If you have ever canned vegetables, I am sure you can appreciate both the hard work and the excitement you feel when you look at the finished product.  You are excited that you actually FINISHED the endless job but elated that you have a year or two worth of homemade salsa.  


In the past I usually had a friend work with me but this year that was not an option and I feared taking on the task by myself.  But I was determined to can both salsa and stewed tomatoes.  After buying 150 pounds of tomatoes, it was a commitment.  I hate the taste of store bought canned food!

But wait -- 

Friday, September 7, 2018

Paperback or eBook - That is the Question

pocket paperback

Do you prefer reading a paperback or an eBook?  Why?  That question was posed to me as the secret subject of this blogging group.  I submitted a Facebook survey and appreciated the 148 responses.  I have condensed those reasons below.