Friday, June 19, 2020

How to Laugh in the Middle of a Crisis

Remember when life was this carefree?

I have been able to avoid using hand sanitizer for years. Now, in 2020, it is becoming mandatory. This is becoming more difficult when some stores and banks want to infect you with it before you enter their store. 

Entering the grocery store yesterday I forgot to bring my Basic H natural wipes with me while lining up and sure enough, they required me to have a shot of the sanitizer. Thinking quickly, I said, "Sorry, but I am allergic to most ingredients in hand sanitizer."

What I wanted to say was, "Over my screaming and kicking body will you put that on my skin."  

The doorman said, "No problem." He handed me a yucky wet cloth drenched in bleach. I thought I was going to throw up. What could I say now?  Without wanting to cause a scene, I barely touched the cloth while getting a lecture on how we all must do our part to stay safe. Biting my tongue I smiled and immediately texted my friend while walking into the store. I knew this would make her day. She laughed so hard we both peed a little. 

I will never forget my pure and safe wipes again. If you don't know why hand sanitizers are destroying our immune systems and it is only getting worse, click here. 

What's that smell?

I decided to bake chocolate chip cookies for the grands to take with me when I visit them next week. At the same time, I was making chicken curry. My question to you is this:  Do you have any idea how weird that combination of smells can be? It smells a lot like dirty feet. It didn't help that I burnt one of the papadums when heating them up for dinner.

"What's for dinner?" Hubby asked when he walked in the door. "Or maybe I shouldn't ask?"

It didn't take long to adjust to the weird combination of odors as the curry was fabulous and I hid the cookies. Out of sight......

Just like his Dad - this kid can fix anything

Crisis or Not.....We NEED to laugh for our Health

In my last post, I shared the sentiments of many of us who are just SOOOOOO tired of everything that is going on and hope it will all end soon. In the meantime, we need to surround ourselves with as much humor as we can. 

After six months of not seeing the grands .....I can hardly wait until next week.

But first.....Your Laugh for the Day:

When my kids were preteens, I installed an 800 toll-free line in our home. Back in the day when you needed a quarter to make a phone call, I was tired of listening to the excuse, "Sorry, mom, for not letting you know I was going to be home late, but I didn't have a quarter."

It cost six cents on my phone bill when they use the 800 line. NO MORE EXCUSES. "Mom, I'm going to be home an hour late. I'm at the mall with so-and-so." For six cents it gave this mom peace of mind and the kids never had a legitimate excuse for not calling. 

These many years later, we still have the same 800 line and use it for numerous reasons. Love it. However, the 800 number we received decades ago is one digit off from the number for a medical clinic in Washington and also a mobile phone service in Florida. 

This can be irritating when we get calls in the middle of the night. What shows up on the call display is the name of the state so I rarely answer it.

We used to get 15 or more calls a day but currently only one or two every few days. We have had a lot of fun with this over the years. Especially when the same person calls numerous times IN A ROW!

And Here's the Fun Part

Sometimes I answer in a different language and pretend I don't speak English. Other times I answer in a little kid's voice and pretend I don't know where my mommy is. This is extremely frustrating for the caller because they are totally confused.

I have had people swear at me because I wouldn't help them with their impending pharmaceutical order or cell phone issue. I usually hang up and they will call back numerous times until they figure out they misdialed.

My favorite one is when I answer the phone with a dignified tone, "Thank you for calling the International School for Morons, how may I direct your call?" SILENCE. NOTHING. I hang up.

When they call for the medical clinic I have had people get mad because I wouldn't take their order for a product. So.....I started taking credit card numbers and tell them their product is on the way. Wonder how long it took them to figure out they misdialed. Would you give someone your credit card number over the phone when you are PRECISELY told you have the wrong number?

International School of Morons, indeed.

But the one call I will never forget is on Christmas Day many years ago. We were in the middle of eating dinner when a call came in.  Our son-in-law asked if he could answer. The man on the opposite end of the call began to explain his problem with his cell phone. My SIL proceeded to take him through many steps to correct the problem. Of course, each step was ridiculous and wouldn't solve anything. He stayed on the phone for several minutes until the loud bouts of laughter coming from the rest of the family started to drown him out. Finally, he said, "Look, Buddy, I don't have a clue what I am talking about, but have a Merry Christmas!"

Staying Focused is our Choice

All of my friends, family, and associates know me well enough to know that I got through tremendous traumas in my life by having the right attitude, staying focused on the positive and laughing......a lot!  This time is no different.

We will get through this - we will be better for it. And we must realize that we have nothing to fear but fear itself.

This coming week we will travel to see our grandkids for the first time since Christmas. We are ecstatic. Kids change a lot in six months and I will embrace every moment with these little ones:

I have a feeling I'll be getting soaked with a water pistol

Each month I am part of a blogging group challenge called "Fly on the Wall." Bloggers share what's been going on in their homes. It is a great way to connect and stay in touch. We would love you to join in the fun. 

Here are this month's posts. I hope you enjoy them.

Baking In A Tornado    
Menopausal Mother     
Spatulas on Parade                    

Thursday, June 11, 2020

Do You Allow Current Events to Affect Your Life?

new normal

Change is either something we embrace or try to ignore. In light of current events, major changes are affecting all of our lives in a variety of ways. Some of them make us angry. Some make us roll our eyes in frustration. But, none of us can deny that our lives have been influenced in some way. 

Friday, May 22, 2020

Are There Any Advantages To Being Over the Hill?

A few months ago I started asking questions on Facebook twice a week. Some are silly, some are soul searching, and some stimulate memories. It has been rewarding in various ways and certainly has connected me with people who are both like-minded or polar opposite.  Each question has between 100 - 200 comments. I believe this is what Facebook was originally intended to be - a place to connect with both old and new-found friends.  Stop by....if you haven't already.  Answer some questions or let me know what you would like me to ask the group. 

Everybody enjoying the crazy social-distancing line-ups at stores?  I try to schedule my time to do any shopping or banking when the wait times are the shortest. 

Last week I needed to make a bank deposit - with cash. The bank was closed so there wasn't any lineup. This would have been great except for this flashing NOTICE on the bank machine. 

We are not accepting cash deposits at this time

Friday, April 17, 2020

Are You Worrying About Your Health?

Happy Easter

Can you think of any other time in the history of our modern world when the number one thought on everyone's mind was the same?  The only time I can think of is Christmas and that only lasts for a day or two. 

The conversations I hear in the grocery store, on the internet, or on the street when taking a walk all have the same core -- the "V" word. Most of them are not positive comments but riddled with fear, anxiety, and judgment. I am not sharing anything you don't already know so I won't dwell on it but one thing I have noticed that seems to be exploding is RUDENESS.  This shocked me. At a time when the human race should be pulling together in kindness, it seems to be the opposite.  

Tuesday, April 7, 2020

What Chance Do You Have of Surviving?

food supplemnts
If it is true that no drug can replace nutrients, then why are we so quick to swallow a pill when we have a cold or flu? Why don't we use natural methods to curb allergies?  Why don't we use nutrition to ward off disease and yes, even find a cure?

As I have written in a series of articles on the World's Biggest Con Job, we are sold a lie by Big Pharma that drugs can heal and/or restore.  Between the lack of education we are offered and our own fears, we buy that lie......hook, line and sinker.

Friday, March 20, 2020

How Often Do You Have a Rude Awakening?

Rude awakenings come in different forms. As a Type A, I pride myself on working multiple jobs, running a tight ship at home, and being the greatest organizer on the planet. But then there is the reality check.

I met with my friend of two-plus decades for early Saturday morning coffee. For as long as we have been friends, this is our special time to share our secrets and concerns. It is usually a serious time outside of any other times we spend together.

Sunday, March 8, 2020

You Should Be Afraid of Hand Sanitizers. Do You Know Why?

Is Your Hand Sanitizer Killing You? 

We often use the phrase, "what you don't know won't hurt you" but when it comes to your health, the opposite is true.  

No one wants to believe that the food supplements/vitamins they are taking could harm them, especially if they have been recommended by a health care professional. But, unfortunately, there are more supplements on the market that can harm you, then there are those that can help you.

Friday, February 21, 2020

How Do Dogs Grieve the Death of Another Dog?

We have a new old dog. Her name is Star and she has lived with us for four years. She is now a new dog.

Have you witnessed a dog going through a time of grieving the loss of another furry friend? When we adopted two rescues four years ago, they came as a package. We wanted one long-haired Doxie but the adoption center would not allow these two to be separated.

Mini Dachshund

The male, Gunner, was ten years old and had been Star's protector for her entire life of six years. She was a show dog. They both lived in cages and were abused. They rarely saw the light of day. Gunner took the brunt of the abuse because he protected his little 'wife' and consequently got kicked, pushed, and thrown by their owner.