Surviving the Loss of a Partner - Life Changing on Every Level

“I have breast cancer.”  Tears were welling up in Sandy’s eyes as she shared the doctor’s diagnosis.  I felt the warmth of tears as well but with it came an instant firm resolve that we would beat this monster. 

This journey is never one we take alone.  It affects our loved ones deeply.  As we began our five-year journey of surgery, chemo, radiation, and severe pain, Sandy never complained. 

Our journey was one of hope, followed by disappointments.  An emotional roller coaster each time cancer raised its ugly head, each time more aggressively than the last.  I tried to be strong but felt helpless.  Alone, I cried and prayed that God would show me a way to help Sandy, to allow me to bear some of her burdens.  All I was able to manage was to make her as comfortable as possible and to be there for her. I watched her brave battle as cancer slowly and radically gained the upper hand.  I never lost hope; praying and believing for a miracle.

And then.....she was Gone

And then…. she was gone.  Gone.  The battle was lost encountering a new one of extreme pain from that loss.  It seemed even more unbearable.  In a trance-like state, I progressed through the arrangements finding some comfort in fulfilling her last wishes.

Knocking Yourself Out About Mistakes Makes it Worse

How many 'if only' moments do we get?  If only I had not said that.  If only I had not gone there.  If only I had made a better choice.  If only I had called them.  If only I had made the effort to see them one last time.  If only.......

Once we have said it..... it is spoken.
Once we have done it.....it is done.
Can we take back the words, undo the deed?  No.

Are You Immune to Credit Card Fraud?

Every morning, the first thing I do on the computer is to check my bank accounts.  In the business account for our store, I was horrified to see a reversal of $2,300 by a credit card company.  It took some time to figure out that three weeks earlier the two young men who made purchases in our store had used a fraudulent card.  They spent a long time making a decision on what they purchased and chatted at length about their families.

We checked their driver licenses to be sure the name matched with the cards and the purchases went through without a hitch.  Even harder to believe is one of the men stayed in contact with us via email for two weeks organizing his next purchase for a custom-made ring.  Why would he give me his IP address and his name if he was scamming us?  They must have known that it would take three weeks before the credit card payment would be reversed.  

Where is Your Focus When Life Throws You a Curve?

When calamity strikes, how do you cope?  Have you ever had to suffer the loss of everything you hold dear in this world?  After years of traumatic events in my life, I was constantly asked to "write a book" because as difficult as it was to believe, people would draw strength from it.

I did write the book and that is precisely what happened.  I firmly believe we need to share our stories to help others who may be experiencing a similar dilemma.  Hence, my talk show was born - interviewing ordinary people who went through extraordinary circumstances and remarkably survived.  They give us tips and coping skills in dealing with the curves life throws at you.

THEN....smack in the middle of one of the greatest pains in my life (read about it here) the fires in Fort McMurray started.  Around the world, people pulled together to support those who had to flee their homes. Many of them did not have a chance to retrieve their wallets, or heartbreaking to believe -- their pets.  That story is here.  That post was written in response to a prompt challenge in a blogging group.  

Imagine my surprise when the next challenge was to use words that tied in precisely with those fires.  A fellow blogger at Climaxed gave me the words honey ~ blowing ~ fort ~ fireplace ~ problematic ~ social anxiety.

I was not expecting to grieve so deeply for the people in Fort McMurray, but it was too close to home.  My daughter and her family recently moved from there and they have friends and family who work there.  This tragedy is far from over and will affect lives for a long while.  In light of the fact that the summer has not yet started, the world prays for rain, the blowing winds to cease, and cooler temperatures.

The social anxiety that comes with these disasters is often bittersweet.  The tragedy can be beyond coping but it draws families and communities together.  We learn very quickly what is important in our lives.  As difficult as it is to lose our possessions, we cherish the people in our lives on a deeper level.

And Yet....You Walked Away

You were so tiny. My firstborn. My son.  Adopting a baby required an extensive amount of soul searching.  There was no doubt.  Our prayers were answered when she placed you in my arms.  My baby.  And yet....you walked away.

Should You Befriend The Mother Of Someone Who Tried To Destroy You?

When she made the appointment for aesthetic services, her name sounded vaguely familiar.  I assumed I would recognize her when she arrived.  I didn't, but my co-worker did and summoned me into the reception area with urgency.

"Do you realize who that is?"  she asked staring wildly.  The look was a definite indication that my client was not welcome there.

"No....why?"

"That's Roger's mother!"

My Daddy - Hero, Friend, Confidant, Teacher

In a small German village on New Year's Eve 1903, my father, William Frederick was born. He was the oldest of thirteen children. Life was challenging and after his brother was born, my grandfather traveled to the New World.  Grandpa worked hard to save enough money to bring his family to America.

Came to America as a Stow-Away

The day came when my Grandma and her two little boys could travel across the seas to unite with Grandpa and have a better life.   There was not enough money for the three of them to travel as passengers so my dad and his brother were stow-aways in the hull of the ship.  It was a three week journey with little food for the boys to share.  My father was four years old and would go the kitchen and beg for the table scraps that had been thrown away. Often, he was reprimanded for being there and given nothing to eat.