No Greater Love Than a Wanted Child - A Daughter

I wish I had words to describe my love and admiration for my daughter. I try -- but come up short. I have watched her survive great trauma in her young life and she never complains. She was a little girl when her father was in a serious car accident, leaving him disabled. She did everything she could to help me, encourage me and make me laugh. She was strong and a wealth of support for her mom. She has lost friends to cancer and suicide but is always the first one to console those around her.  She has lost much and endured immeasurable pain.  She is always first to offer a helping hand.  She lost her brother when he chose to walk away from our family seven years ago and broke our hearts.

Her dad and I were told we would never have children.  After 14 long, difficult years of waiting, we had our baby girl -- and now she is a mom. 

My daughter on the left.  Her daughter on the right.

What is a Gift from the Heart?

Standing in line at the post office with over a dozen parcels in my hands, someone tapped my shoulder gently.  When I turned, she said in a quiet tone, "You have a long line of toilet paper behind you."  Mmmmm.... I wonder how many people had a smile when they saw that; yet one woman was kind enough to let me know.

My birthday party last month was at a swanky Italian restaurant and I was surrounded by family and friends.  I dressed up for the affair and found the perfect pair of (brand new, of course) pantie hose to match my black and white polka dot top.  When it was time to hug everyone goodbye at the door, I stood up and my pantie hose fell down.   I immediately sat down, motioned for a close friend to loan me her wrap and continued to hug everyone from that position.  Husbands of friends have had a field day with this and love teasing me mercilessly.

These are memories we won't soon forget but they always bring a smile even though they were embarrassing at the time.

In this month's blogging challenge I was asked "What is your very best Christmas memory?"  I don't have to dig very deep to respond quickly.  

11 Reasons Why You Should (NOT) Have a Dog as a Pet

Do you wonder whether or not you should get a dog?  You weigh the pros and cons and think about all the work....... I am sure there are circumstances where someone does not want to have a dog in their life, but I can't imagine life without a four-legged fur baby.  Some people have stated they will never get another dog when their dog passes over the rainbow.

I have rescued over 30 dogs and when one dies it is always devastating.  They can become such a major part of your life and member of your family.  But for every dog you may lose, there are hundreds of precious ones who need a home.  For the love of dogs everywhere......if you are wondering whether you should invite a dog into your life...here are some reasons to welcome this four-legged family member:

1.  You will no longer need an alarm clock.  Dogs have internal clocks with alarms that go off right

What does for better, for worse mean?

November 24, 1997, was our 25th wedding anniversary.  Anyone who has been married that long usually has questions and reflections about their relationship.  





Over the years, there were moments when I wondered if we would make it another year.  Although our relationship was strong, the circumstances we endured over the course of those years were horrendous.  Our lives were battered, often bruised, and broken more times than I can count.  Yet, we survived.  Yes, we grew stronger.  But as some people have said, "I'd take weakness over all the struggles you had to endure to make you stronger."

When you start your life together as a couple, you concentrate on a bright future.  You talk about all the hopes and dreams you have together and individually.  When trials come, you work through them -- together.  Rarely does anyone anticipate that almost every year would bring a major trauma into your lives.  But, in our case, that is what happened. 

12 of the Best Persuasive Words to Use

Want to make an impact?  Choosing words carefully when you speak or write make people take notice and listen.

My brother is one of the greatest salesmen I have ever known and he is not in the 'selling' business.  He sells himself and consequently, people trust him.   He gave me this list of persuasive words that he compiled from his experiences in business over six decades.  His training comes from experience - tried and proven.

These are words we can use in conversations that trigger a positive response from the listener.  Try using them and see what a difference it makes when you input positive, rather than negative or passive words.

Discovery  implies something new as a detection, revelation or analysis.

Guarantee  gives assurance, certainty, or agreement that what you are saying is true.  Be careful not to overuse it, however.

How Do You Say Goodbye to Your Furry Friend of 13 years

Each day we live with our furry friends, we love them more. Every day we grow to appreciate them more. Yet, in the back of our minds, we are fully aware that they have a short lifespan compared to ours and that the day will come when we need to say goodbye. It is never easy. No matter how many times we have to go through it, it never gets easier.

I have been rescuing dogs for many years and also have adopted some who have not been abused. Louis Vuitton was one of those. He came into our lives when he was a puppy. He was a gift to our daughter, Rochelle, for her 17th. birthday. The young man who gave Louie to Rohelle is now our son-in-law. She and her hubby have also rescued numerous dogs. I have shared many of their stories here. When Louie came into our lives, we had our beloved black Lab, Mercedez. Louie adored Mercedez as he did all the rescues we brought home.

What Do You Do When You Are Caught Red-handed?

I heard the garage door open.  It would only be a minute before I would be free.  I waited.  I heard the car door slam shut.  I was so excited.  I could hardly stand it.  It seemed like forever since Mommy left me that morning.  She always locks me up.  She says she loves me but I know she does not trust me.  If she trusted me, why does she lock me up?

WHAT WAS TAKING SO LONG?  Then I heard a funny rustling sound as the door opened.  I knew that sound.  I  L O V E D that sound.  It meant she was bringing home food.  Not my boring food -- this would be REAL people food.

She put some bags on the floor, opened the door to my prison and then she ran out the door again.  I had a good smell of each bag.  Nothing too exciting there.

She came back.  More bags on the floor and she left again.  Mmmmm, this one bag smelled amazing.  I recognized that smell.  It was like heaven.  It was that yellow stuff that comes in plastic wrapping. This is the stuff she hides my pills in when she gives them to me.  She calls it my treat and sometimes she calls it cheese.

Then she left me there with all these bags and went into that room that always sounds like water running.  I knew she would be gone awhile.  Surely she wanted me to have a look at all the bags and help myself to my special treats.

My 4-year-old Grandson has Questions about His Recent Marriage

When you live a crazy life, you should expect crazy things to happen.  When you keep doing the same thing over and over and expect different results, you are the crazy one.  I constantly look to the future when life will get easier, slow down a bit and then laugh out loud when I realize that may never happen.

To explain:  I have a lot of jobs, often wearing three or four hats at the same time on any given day.  This is normal for a Type A personality who is a perfectionist and believes that relaxing or sleeping is a complete waste of time.  Don't give me any lectures -- I've heard them all.  Most important thing:  I am NOT complaining. I love being busy.  

Consequently, the thought of doing this month's Fly on the Wall post seemed a bit overwhelming because so much happened in the past two months and it would be a really
l o n g post to share it all.  

View from my room

One highlight I will share with you is that I attended the Advanced Writers and Speakers Conference in Cincinnati and look forward to going back next year.  I learned so much in the workshops, made some incredible connections, made, even more, friends and got to see what it is like to live in 97-degree heat with high humidity.  

Our days were filled from early morning to late evening without time to shop or have any 'me' time -- loved it.  I certainly was not bored for one second.

I left the hotel each day to get to the closest restaurant - that was enough heat to last me until next year.  How do people live, work or BREATHE in that?

Sooooooooo........rather than bore you with all the incredible things that happened the last two months, I decided to do some snippets of the grandkids and their antics.

4-year-old grandson gets married

3 Life Lessons You'll Never Forget

Biting my tongue, I tried not to cry. The man on the other end of the telephone was breathing heavily and sporadically. When the seconds between each breath lasted too long, terror ran through my veins.

I needed more time. I needed him to breathe normally. I needed HIM. But the time had come. It was his time to leave.

I could tell by his breathing pattern how my words were affecting him. When the breaths came rapidly, I knew he was becoming emotional. When they were slower, it meant he was calmer.

I told him how much I loved him; how much I appreciated my heritage and the ethics he instilled in me. I thanked him for putting up with my incessant babbling when I got excited.  I reminded him how he would offer me 25 cents to be quiet for five minutes when I was a little girl. I felt him smile inside.

I'm the little one

Does This Make Sense To You?

I never met a dog I didn't like love.  Give me five minutes with any dog and I will create a life-long bond.  After years of rescuing dogs - over 30 so far - I can't imagine life without at least one in the house. My daughter has six at the moment - the acorn doesn't fall far....

Dogs make me laugh -- every single day.  When you learn to speak 'dog' they will tell you what you want to hear -- "I love you.  I have always loved you.  I will always love you.  Nothing else matters."

A bachelor friend of ours loves dogs as much as we do and has always maintained it is easier to date a woman and come home to his four-legged furry friend than to be married.  WHAT?

Admit it -- I bet some of you have thought that.   And here are some reasons why.......

1.  The later you come home, the more excited the dog is to see you.  You don't have to have an excuse or an explanation.  Giving a dog a pat on the head and a treat will make them forget you were ever gone at all.

Nayla, Rocky, Charlie (in diaper) and Kei

2.  Dogs don't care if you call them by another name.  They probably won't even notice.   The tone of your voice tells them you care about them above any other dog.  And if food is part of the equation.....nothing else matters.


3.  Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.  They don't care if the house is tidy or if you left your dirty underwear on the floor.  In fact, they like it.

4.  A dog's parents NEVER visit.  'Nuf said.

What if Someone You Loved Went to Prison?

The gavel came down!  "Five years!"  How did my husband land in jail? I didn’t know any criminals. He was NOT a miscreant. I didn’t even know people who lived on the edge. What were we going to do?

I had no income and the lawyer informed us that Paul would be paid forty-nine cents a day during his incarceration. Actually, I didn't expect he would get anything, but, forty-nine cents a day? That was only $15 a month to pay for things like his toothpaste, chocolate bars, etc. Paul said he would send his entire check home to me. I laughed and cried at the same time. I did not know if I would cash it or frame it.

They sent him to Oakalla Prison. I knew he was going to jail but I had no idea it would be to such a hard-core place. Even so, I expected some form of cleanliness and order. I expected to see some normal looking people. I was so wrong! On the way to the prison, Paul's mother and I were confronted with a sign on the wall explaining what to expect.

It stated that a physical search of all visitors would be made by patting the body with the hands and often by exploring bodily orifices in an attempt to find concealed weapons, explosives, drugs or other contraband. 

Letter To My Unborn Granddaughter

Dear Grandaughter:  Here you are -- almost ready to face this world.  Here we are -- ready to welcome you.  Your parents and grandparents are thrilled that you are going to be a baby girl. Your big brother said, "If I don't get a sister, Mommy.....put it back!"

In our family, you will be the first girl born into a generation of little boys.  I can only imagine you will have the upper hand in most situations.  Girls RULE -- Boys drool, right?

I try to picture what you will look like and this in utereo photo is amazing. Technology has come so far and during your lifetime, you will see it go even further.

I remember when the doctor placed your mommy into my arms for the first time.  It was not love at first sight because I loved you from the moment I discovered you were in my belly.  Your mommy was desperately wanted, just as you have been.  That story click here

You will be surrounded by love and protection from all sides of your little universe.  With such a sensitive nature, your big brother will be extremely close to you - protecting you, caring for you and teaching you everything a big brother can.

Moptop Mania -- Were You There?

As a teenager in the early 1960s, I was not allowed to listen to the trending Rock and Roll songs on the radio.  The songs were deemed as evil music so I had to hide from my parents if I wanted to listen to them. 

I would lie low in my clothes closet with my transistor radio glued to my ear.  Beatle mania was alive and well on the radio.  I loved every song, but my favorites were "Hey Jude," "All You Need is Love," "She Loves You," "I Wanna Hold Your Hand," "Come Together," and "Yesterday."   Although I dreamed about it, I knew there was not a chance to ever see the Beatles live in concert.  

I continue to love their music and each song triggers a memory  -- most of them were memories of dating or breaking up with a boy. All these years later, the memories remain vivid.

Every Christmas, my daughter searches for concert tickets to give her dad and me as a gift. As lovers of classic Rock and Roll, we are thrilled.  In addition, she gifts us with dinner and a hotel room.  It is always an evening to remember.  

THE one concert that stands out above the rest was seeing the Beatles Tribute Band, Rain. I had no idea it would be as authentic as it turned out to be.  My hubby, who had been in a Rock and Roll band a hundred years ago, was astonished at how much they sounded like the original group.  In fact, in some ways they were better (please don't tell anyone I said that!) because the sound equipment was superior.  

Dogs Drool, Cats Rule!

          

The prevalence of rancor that exists between dog owners and cat owners is rarely understood or explained. There often seems to be a decided lack of decency among them. Doesn’t it make you wonder what made this evolve into such distinct differences?

Although many dog owners 'have' cats (you can't "own" a cat), many people choose to be one or the other - a cat person or a dog person. I happen to love both cats and dogs but lean towards dogs.  Do you think most people have a preference?  Do you think different personality types prefer one over the other?  I'd be interested to hear your views.

There is much to be said about the differences between dogs and cats and what better way than to show it through pictures?

If cats had their way, they would like to to abolish all dogs. But, they really love the chase, the teasing and knowing that at the end of the day, CATS RULE!

Dog has no idea what's coming next

Did You Ever Pay It Forward?

Has this ever happened to you?  On more than one occasion I have pulled up to the drive-through window at Starbucks and the cashier said "No charge!  The person in front of you is paying it forward."  

What a nice way to start the day and I wish I could run after them to thank them.  But they are long gone.  I always watch my rear view mirror to see if  someone I deem worthy of that gesture is behind me. Once in a while I do and I feel like a naughty school girl who just got away with something.  I trust my generosity is appreciated although that is not why I do it.  If you are looking for a thank-you when you give something from your heart, you should not be giving it.  Giving in secret is much more rewarding.

This morning I was in the line-up and when I got to the window I glanced behind me.  An attractive middle aged woman was driving a

Is There Ever A Bad Time For Good News?

When everything seems to be going wrong do you quit?  Or do you think it may be going wrong because it is worth persevering?  I had to make this decision last week when I got THE phone call. Before I can adequately share that story please read this one about the two long-haired Dachshunds we were trying to adopt and why it was so important.....

The hoops we had to jump through trying to adopt these two dogs were much like the hurdles we encountered when adopting our son.  But these were DOGS.  I understand the agencies need to be sure their rescues are going to good homes but this seemed a bit over the top.  We had to send pictures of each room in our home and all parts of the yard. This was to determine if we had a dog friendly home.  We had to have several personal and professional references. Any vets we had previously used would need to contacted. This was a problem because after we switched to a raw diet for our dogs, we no longer needed veterinary services.  The only time we used a vet in the past few years was when Texas was attacked by the Bull Mastiff.

Rescue dogs are a breed of their own.  I believe they are fully aware that they were given away or thrown away or neglected.  They are the most loyal dogs; hands down.

Dear Prodigal Son

Dear Son:

Today is your birthday.  I believe every mother remembers the birth day of her child on their special day.  It does not matter how many years go by.  Wasn't it only yesterday I held your tiny body in my arms and welcomed you into this world?

You looked at me.  No, you stared.  In fact, you stared so long I was concerned.  Aren't newborns supposed to sleep more?  But, you just looked at me, for hours.  You were three days old.  Although the adoption seemed to take forever, nine months after we applied, we got the call.

"You have a son.  He is perfect.  You can pick him up in three days."

There were no words to describe the impact those words had on me.  I was now a mother.  Your mother.  No child was ever loved more.

And no mother could possibly grieve more.  Just after your 31st birthday two years ago,  you left us. You walked away.  You tossed our love away.  You broke our hearts.  I thought I would die.  If we knew how to fix it, we would.  Only God knows.   I will never.......ever.....give up hope.  We long for the day of your return.  This mother needs to feel her arms around her son, to hold him again.

Happy Birthday, dear son.  We love you.  We have always loved you.  We will love you forever.

Mommy

In the past two years many women have shared this same scenario with me.  We need each other.  Do you know anyone who has lived this nightmare?

Photo courtesy of mypeyronios.com

Saying Goodbye To Our Dog, Our Friend

Willow.  Six years ago this baby girl was tied to a fence with a coat hanger waiting for the "dog disposer" to pick her up.  Who could imagine the rejection this gentle creature must have felt?  It was obvious she had been abused.

It was Easter four years ago.  Rochelle was visiting us when she got the call from her hubby who was working in the Arctic North.  "Now, please don't be angry with me but I got us another dog."  I watched Rochelle's mouth tighten and the air was tense.  She had three dogs and a cat and certainly did not need another one.  They argued about it for a few minutes.  When she got off the phone, it was clear she lost the battle.

Great way for a Husky to cool off

Letter To My Aging Dog

Dear Precious Mercedez:

When we went for our walk today, you YAWNED.  I couldn't believe it.  Walking was always your favorite pastime.  I looked at you and realized you were tired - aging and BONE tired.  It was hot outside and you wanted the coolness of your room. 

Was it that long ago when I came home from work, you would run in circles with great anticipation of a walk?  Didn't matter what the weather was like -- didn't matter if it was dinner time. What mattered was Mom was home and you could now go for a walk. Weekends were even more exciting. Weekends meant a trip in the Jeep to the mountain where you could run until you were ready to collapse.  The last time I took you on one of those runs, three wolves crossed our path and I decided we would rethink this weekend trek.

Then it happened.  I came home from work one day and the throw rugs in the entry way were askew. When I walked into the kitchen, the rugs in there were in a pile.  What on earth happened?  And where were you?  You didn't come running to the door, leash in your mouth, tail wagging.

Will a Day at the Spa Remove the Smell of Sheep?

WHAT A SURPRISE!   I have been playing shepherdess to my daughter's sheep, six dogs and a cat while they are in Hawaii. My daughter and family -- not the sheep!  I love being here - in the wooded country, without the pressures of home and work.  I never expected to be compensated for helping her in this way.  It came as a complete shock when she gifted me a full day at the spa.  Not just any spa, but the Grotto Spa at Tigh-Na-Mara - 20,000 square feet of spa bliss.