“I have breast cancer.” Tears were welling up in Sandy’s eyes as she shared the doctor’s diagnosis. I felt the warmth of tears as well but with it came an instant firm resolve that we would beat this monster.
This journey is never one we take alone. It affects our loved ones deeply. As we began our five-year journey of surgery, chemo, radiation, and severe pain, Sandy never complained.
Our journey was one of hope, followed by disappointments. An emotional roller coaster each time cancer raised its ugly head, each time more aggressively than the last. I tried to be strong but felt helpless. Alone, I cried and prayed that God would show me a way to help Sandy, to allow me to bear some of her burdens. All I was able to manage was to make her as comfortable as possible and to be there for her. I watched her brave battle as cancer slowly and radically gained the upper hand. I never lost hope; praying and believing for a miracle.
And then.....she was Gone
And then…. she was gone. Gone. The battle was lost encountering a new one of extreme pain from that loss. It seemed even more unbearable. In a trance-like state, I progressed through the arrangements finding some comfort in fulfilling her last wishes.