Saturday, March 9, 2019

Knocking Yourself Out About Mistakes Makes it Worse

How many 'if only' moments do we get?  If only I had not said that.  If only I had not gone there.  If only I had made a better choice.  If only I had called them.  If only I had made the effort to see them one last time.  If only.......

@BatteredHope   if only I had


Once we have said it..... it is spoken.
Once we have done it.....it is done.
Can we take back the words, undo the deed?  No.



@BatteredHope   if only I had

How much pain have we endured because of the choices we have made?  I lived a good portion of my life in IF ONLY moments. At the time, I did not see any options and made choices which turned out to be devastating.  Often, we are in a situation where we do not see any choice except for the obvious one. When we make that choice and realize it was the wrong one, what do we do?

We make choices every single day of our lives.  Some choices seem very insignificant and we don't think about them; some can change our lives in a moment. If only we had a magic wand to change those moments.
@BatteredHope   if only I had

Did you speak too soon?
Did you not speak soon enough?
Did you marry the wrong person?
Did you choose the wrong business partner?
Did you trust the wrong people?
Did you take a trip you knew you should not have?
Did you spend money you did not have?


YET.......We can make the choice to change our 'if only' moments


See yourself as a victor, more than just a survivor.  You can take the pain, the mistakes, the bad choices and turn them around for good. Chose to laugh in spite of the pain and encourage those around you in similar circumstances.  You can empathize and sympathize from a place that would not have been possible, if you had not experienced the losses.


We can't change what happened to us, but we can change our attitude.  We can learn from our mistakes.  We can choose to forgive those who have hurt us, abused us, robbed from us or.....we can choose to dwell on it, let it fester and destroy our world, our relationships, our health.  What is done, is done. Dwelling on it or worrying about it changes nothing, except makes us bitter, angry or sad.

The flip side is we can move forward instead of living in the past. We cannot change the past but our attitude can affect our future.

@BatteredHope   if only I had



Have you made some choices that you would give almost anything to undo?  Or have you come to terms with those choices and forgiven not just those who hurt you but...... also forgiven yourself?




8 comments :

  1. Perfect! I needed this today as I am letting what ifs take over

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  2. It is easy to do but worth the effort to change your way of thinking, Minette

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  3. I have come to terms with bad choices made in the past - there is no sense in holding onto bad feelings or regrets. I choose to move forward with hope and faith.
    Blessings, Carol!

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    1. Wonderful. Not easy to do sometimes -- but we can make it our choice.

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  4. Amen; that's all I can say. I needed to read this so much, I can't even tell you. I mentally beat myself up constantly.

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    1. Really happy it spoke to you, Traci! You have so much to offer and no reason to beat yourself up!

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  5. I've been doing this since momma died. If only I hadn't left that day, if only I had said more, if only I had been a better daughter etc, etc, etc. Would that have changed anything no, I just don't know why we do this to ourselves!

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    1. I agree and wonder if we will ever change. The reality is that no one could have been a better daughter or more loving than you. Mama knew that. The only solution is to tell yourself that you did everything you could for all those years. She knew how much you loved her even if she was not able to relate that to you. My mama died in 1967 and those thoughts try to creep up sometimes and then I remember the little note she gave me many years before that about how I was her sunshine. I hang onto that.

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