Did You Ever Pay It Forward?

Has this ever happened to you?  On more than one occasion I have pulled up to the drive-through window at Starbucks and the cashier said "No charge!  The person in front of you is paying it forward."  

What a nice way to start the day and I wish I could run after them to thank them.  But they are long gone.  I always watch my rear view mirror to see if  someone I deem worthy of that gesture is behind me. Once in a while I do and I feel like a naughty school girl who just got away with something.  I trust my generosity is appreciated although that is not why I do it.  If you are looking for a thank-you when you give something from your heart, you should not be giving it.  Giving in secret is much more rewarding.

This morning I was in the line-up and when I got to the window I glanced behind me.  An attractive middle aged woman was driving a

Have You Watched Your Best Friend Die? RIP Mercedez

I crawled under the examining table in the veterinarian's office to be closer to Mercedez.  The clinic had provided a blanket for her to lie on.  Any other time I would have been repulsed by the germs and filth that was lingering on the floor but not this time.

I wanted to be close to her - one last time.  I wanted to rub her velvety ears - one last time.  I wanted to kiss her soft furry face - one last time.

She was too little to climb the stairs - 15 years ago

 "I love you Sades" I whispered into her ear. "Go to sleep, my precious little girl."

Do You Think All Dogs Go To Heaven?

Do dogs strategize?  I think they know EXACTLY what they are doing and they have agendas. It was early in the morning when the phone rang "Mom, please get in your car and go to the auto mechanic shop on the highway.  The dogs are there."

"WHAT?"

"Please mom, GO!"

Still in my nightie I grabbed my purse and ran out the door, praying all the way.  That shop was over a mile away and the highway was extremely busy with high-speed traffic.  I put the pedal to the metal and was there in a minute.

I saw them.  Nayla and Charlie.  They have eleven acres to romp through at home but apparently that is not enough.  They had found a means of escape and decided to go exploring.  Charlie was in heat and I was freaking about that as I knew my daughter wanted to breed her.  Thank goodness the man found Rochelle's phone number on Charlie's collar.

Don't be fooled by the innocent after-bath look!

How to Get that Dream Job

When I was a little girl, I preferred to make believe I was a secretary rather than playing with dolls as most girls did.  I chose secretary because I loved to organize, keep notes and pretend to work for someone 'important.'

In the 1950s-60s, career choices for women were generally limited by occupations in nursing, teaching, secretarial or as an airline stewardess. 

After high school graduation, every job I applied for I got and quickly realized I could start to write my own ticket.  My first job was for the Veterans Administration, but I found it tedious.  Although my next two jobs for prestigious law firms were exciting, my goal was to be my own boss.

Then I saw it.  The newspaper ad said "Wanted:  Gal Friday/Office Manager.  Must be able to work independently and have excellent skills."  I applied.  I got it.  

The job was an office manager for a construction company and it was located in a lumberyard.  My boss never had a secretary before and he wanted me to set up the offices and run all aspects of the business while he worked in the field. He was a commercial builder of huge projects; apartment complexes, hotels, and office buildings.

I ordered the necessary equipment and set up the office.  When we were ready to move into the new office space, I asked for his previous office records.  He opened the trunk of his big, shiny new Cadillac and showed me several boxes overflowing with receipts and invoices.

Sorting through it all, I came to realize that a lot of people owed him a lot of money!  When I confronted him with this he said he didn't have the time to worry about it.  This was in the 1960s and $60,000 in past due debt was a small fortune.  I told him that I was willing to collect on these and he said I could keep half of whatever I collected.

I knew that I would be dealing with some 'rough around the edges' characters. Then I had a brilliant idea.  I found the biggest and burliest man I could find and offered him $20 a day.  All he had to do was go with me to the various businesses that owed my boss money. He didn't have to say a word. He was just to stand behind me with his arms crossed.  

Do I really have to tell you what happened?  I collected on every single one. My boss was so impressed he told me to give myself a raise whenever and for whatever amount I wanted.  I stayed with him for several years and loved my job immensely.  

I was able to move into any unit I wanted to live in whenever I felt like upgrading.  He gave me a car to drive and an expense account.  My husband and I spent weekends at his cottage or on his boat.  

I stayed with him until he retired and we both cried.  Ours was a great relationship and I had the best secretarial job anyone could have ever hoped for.  

In later years, I started a business teaching office organization to corporation's secretarial pools.  It was not the challenge I needed and extremely boring. These secretaries were only interested in getting a paycheck and not improving their skills. 

I continue to run a tight ship in my office and manage a few businesses.  I have never tired of playing secretary!

If you have a dream, pursue it.  Never let it go.

What was your dream job?  Did you ever get it or better yet.....create it?

Do You Think it's True? Is Attitude Everything?

Since watching "Captive:  A Journey of Hope and Survival" with ABC's Robin Roberts, it confirmed what I believe to be a key factor to rising above insurmountable trauma.

Amanda Berry and Gina DeJesus were kidnapped and held captive for ten years by Ariel Castro, the father of Amanda and Gina's friend. Amanda was taken the day before her 17th birthday and is now 29 years old.  They were tortured, chained, and starved.  A bucket was their toilet and they were allowed one shower a week - with their abductor.

The house where they were held captive for 10 years

From the first day of Amanda's kidnapping, she kept a diary. Over the years she used every bit of paper she acquired to make her journal entries; i.e. take-out food bags.  The journal helped keep her sane and was priceless when writing her memoir.

6 Things People Say that Drive Me Crazy

People say certain things every day that drive me crazy.  I'm wondering if you agree with me. Some of these are pet peeves of mine.  For instance, when I buy ONE thing at a store and the clerk says "All together, that will be...."  I usually look around to see what else I purchased but nothing is there.  She said that because she says it to everyone, no matter what they buy.  There is no thought to the words that come out of her mouth.

Sometimes, I find myself starting to say one of the following phrases and catch myself.   It could be construed as a lie when you are asked "How are you today?" and you answer with "Fine, thank you. And you?"  I realize we often do this to avoid pouring out our heart and saying to someone "Rotten, thank you.  You?" Although I have been known to say that on occasion, I usually do it for effect - just to see the look on someone's face.  Then I laugh and they have no idea if I was lying or telling the truth.

And what about the waitress who says "How are we today?"  I know how I am but why would you ask me how YOU are doing?

But there are certain things people say to me (or I hear them say to other people) that I would love to challenge.  I think these are usually said because they feel badly for someone and don't know what else to say.  HOWEVER, if we say these things and sincerely mean them -- that is a totally different ballgame.  My issue is when we say something for the mere sake of saying it and there is little to no thought behind it.

I AM HERE - Untold Stories Of Everyday People

JUST PUBLISHED - FREE NEXT TWO DAYS

Something very exciting has happened – I have a story published in a book! It’s called I Am Here: The Untold Stories of Everyday People and is a collection of true, funny, heart-wrenching, and ultimately inspiring stories. It’s format is similar to Chicken Soup for the Soul and if you like those books, you’ll like this one.

If You Can Forget Your Struggles For A Moment, Why Not 2 or 3?

It didn't matter what kind of day I was having, looking outside made all my worries disappear for a moment.   Outside my window the Magnolias had opened over night and the magenta leaves reached for the morning's sunlight.  If only I could do that.  But wait, I could and did.  If I could forget my struggles for a moment, why not for two or three moments? Why couldn't I table my troubles?

I stepped outside and realized the signs of Spring were everywhere - from the small rhubarb plant starting in my garden to the choir of birds singing their morning song.

Everything was flourishing -- why couldn't I?

Could I turn my back on my catastrophic life and exchange it for a happy one?  Could it possibly be that easy?  

That day, I made the decision that changed my life forever. I would make a daily, hourly, moment by moment effort to see the positive in everything.  Bad things can happen to good people but they do not have to control my life; my thoughts.

When I looked outside and saw the flowers, I had my story idea for this short post which was a Use Your Words challenge.  Each month those participating in the challenge are given a series of words given to them from another blogger to use in a story. Each month I try to turn those words into a true story and this month I didn't have a clue.  

I have had a lot of trauma in my life but so have a lot of other people.  I can choose to dwell on those negatives or..... learn from them and draw strength and wisdom.  I have chosen the latter. 

My words were magenta, flourish, rhubarb, catastrophic and happy. They were submitted by Juicebox Confession.  

I hope you take a few minutes to check out the other bloggers in this challenge - read their stories, comment on their posts and let me know if you find the words I gave another blogger before I can figure it out - as we never know until they go live.

Baking In A Tornado
Spatulas on Parade
The Bergham's Life Chronicles
The Momisodes
Southern Belle Charm
Confessions of a Part-time Working Mom
Someone Else's Genius
Stacy Sews and Schools
Sparkly Poetic Weirdo
Searching for Sanity
Climaxed
Eileen's Perpetually Busy

                                 

And Yet....You Walked Away

You were so tiny. My firstborn. My son.  Adopting a baby required an extensive amount of soul searching.  There was no doubt.  Our prayers were answered when she placed you in my arms.  My baby.  And yet....you walked away.

Life Lesson When Lost In A Parking Lot

Why can't I remember where I parked my car?  It seems that whenever I park in a parking lot, I have no trouble getting to my intended destination but I almost always have trouble finding my way back. 

I consider myself to be somewhat intelligent so making a mental note of where I parked isn't rocket science.  Sometimes the parking lots are thoughtful enough to put numbers and letters on pillars to make it easier for people to remember where they parked.  As long as you remember the letter and/or the number you are home free.  You think?

Dear Daughter - Why Did You Turn Out This Way?

Dear Daughter:  Looking at you I see reflections of myself.  I see my youth, my aspirations, my passions and parts of my personality.  I am amazed when I look at you and realize I had a small part in forming who you are; that pleases me.  You are more than I ever hoped to be.  I thank God to have had some influence in your life decisions. My precious, beloved daughter - the bottom line is you never cease to amaze me at what an incredible, intelligent, beautiful, gentle, wise and humorous woman you are.  I am proud to call you friend and even prouder to call you daughter.

Rochelle at two

Missing A Birth And A Brush With Death

My monthly Fly On The Wall post is part of a group of bloggers that allow you access into their homes to see what exciting and hilarious things happened on the home front during the past month. This month I was away from home. The beginning of the month I spent house/dog/cat/livestock sitting for my daughter who was enjoying the shores of Hawaii.

What I did not realize until I got there was that two of the sheep were pregnant.  The instructions she gave me in response to my wide eyes were "Don't worry Mom, there shouldn't be any problems.  If you see the mama is struggling and there is a little leg sticking out of her, just give it a gentle tug."

Every evening I heard a noise at the front door.  It was the goats.  They jumped their fence regularly to visit the house alerting me that it was feeding time.  They walked extremely close to my side to the fields and enjoyed the game of 'Let's See If We Can Trip The Old Lady.'  I wrote about their funny and sometimes painful antics in Stepping Out Of Your Comfort Zone.

13 1/2 Things I May Never Understand- Can You Help?

You may call this post a rant and I suppose in some ways it is.  But what I really want are your opinions.  Each of us is entitled to our own views and these are some things that I need you to help me to understand.   I will do a follow-up post of your responses.

As we get older, we are supposed to get wiser.  However,I don't get it -- unless you can enlighten me.

1)  Stickers on cars that read "Precious Cargo On Board." In other words, if you were considering slamming into the back of my car STOP RIGHT THERE.  There is a baby on board and you could hurt him.  With all the weirdos in the world, why would I want to advertise that I have a baby in the car?

What 4 Things Do You Need To Live?

We have all been asked the question "What could you never live without?"  Sometimes we answer by listing those we love or some of our possessions that are very dear to us; i.e. family photos.  I think that is a given - when we lose someone we love, we feel like we do not want to live anymore.  I thought I would take a bit of a different twist here.

Each month I participate in a word challenge given four to six unrelated words to use in a story.  This month's words threw me for a loop.  How could I possibly write a story using those words?  And then it hit me, and I turned it into a post about four things I could not live without.  My words were candid, bestow, handiwork and delicious.  See what I mean?

A Large Bully Is No Match For A Tenacious Little Girl

Recently I had the pleasure to meet three on-line friends in person and each experience was amazing. My friendship deepened with each of these women, and I know we will be life-long friends. Many of you shared your own experiences when you met your blogging or on-line friends after reading How Your Blog Can Make An Impact  and Sensational Friends You May Know.

I have also had the pleasure of connecting with Erin from my grade school years.  We were friends from Kindergarten through high school and then lost touch for four decades. After all those years, we discovered we were living in close proximity of each other - 3,000 miles from where we grew up. Every year since then, we have spent a girls' getaway weekend together to play catch-up.

How Can You Be In Two Places At Once?

Are you more than one person?  Many people try to be and most of us act slightly differently in the various roles we play.  Each role is then subdivided into other roles.  Do you believe that if we take on too many roles we can burn out?  At what point should we say "Stop! I can only do so much."

But what if we can't stop?  What if so many people depend on us that we have to keep going and not expect to get a break?

It is a lot easier to look at someone else's life and say "You need to slow down."  Or.."Why don't you just get out of that commitment?"  It usually isn't that easy.  Recently I found myself in such a place.

How Can Your Blog Make An Impact?

As a blogger, I believe many of us live in a constant state of being overwhelmed. Overtaken with how much there is to learn to how much there is to do. Overwhelmed with the lack of knowledge and time we need to accomplish our goals.

When I published Battered Hope last year, I assumed I would  sit back and relax.  I had published my book, paid my publisher to market it for me and all was well in my world. I wrote my first blog post and waited for book sales and thousands of readers to come knocking at my blog door.  It didn't happen - at all!

I was completely naive of any social media networking tools and was clueless where to start.  I wrote a couple more posts; and by some sort of miracle, I captured the attention of a woman who was an administrator for a blogging community.  Diane had her fingers in many areas of marketing and networking.  She worked around the clock.Why was she the least bit interested in me?

The Good, The Bad, The Funny, The Sad

Many of you will agree with me and wonder what happened to January.  Wasn't it just Christmas?  This is our monthly Fly On The Wall post where bloggers share their goings-on in their homes over the past month -- the Good, the Bad and sometimes the Ugly!  Along with the Funny and the Sad.

In the past three months we have lost three dogs.  Two of them were my daughters, Dakota and Willow, and then we lost our 18 year old Texas, the sunshine of my hubby's life.
For that tear-jerking yet heart-warming story click here.

Most of you will remember the posts I have written about Mercedez, my black Lab.  After Texas died, I wondered if Mercedez would make it through another month.  She has grieved deeply with each buddy she lost.  Although she is in good health, with a beautiful shiny coat, she is definitely slowing down -- especially this past month.

Can Dogs Have Dementia?

Do you know if dogs can get dementia?  Sometimes in the middle of the night I will find her standing in the hallway staring at the walls.  It is like she does not know where she is or why.

Sorry But Your Husband Has Irreversible Brain Damage

I remember the first time I heard those words.  It was unexpected.  "We're sorry but there is nothing more we can do."

Doctors are supposed to fix what ails you.  In my twenties, I was told I had two years to live if I didn't have a hysterectomy.  It is 40 years later and I'm still here.  I had a baby.  So, even though these words about my husband were terrifying, I knew there had to be another way.  I'd find the answer. We could fix him.  Click here for that story.

In 1995 my husband was waiting in an intersection to make a left-hand turn.  The guy in the big truck making a left-hand turn from the opposite direction.... didn't see him and hit him head-on.  He blamed the sun. 

 

Do You Believe In Fate?

I heard something.  I stopped cold in my tracks.  Was I being followed?  A shiver crept up my spine.  I took another step and heard it again.  What was that?  It sounded like a whimper but was ever so faint, perhaps it was being muffled.  

The fresh morning snow was forming a blanket covering the brown soil and debris on the forest floor.  The season's first snow fall always reminded me of new beginnings.  I wanted to walk in the quietness of the early morning before anything could disturb my thoughts.  I loved making new tracks in the snow where nothing had been before.