Have You Watched Your Best Friend Die? RIP Mercedez

I crawled under the examining table in the veterinarian's office to be closer to Mercedez.  The clinic had provided a blanket for her to lie on.  Any other time I would have been repulsed by the germs and filth that was lingering on the floor but not this time.

I wanted to be close to her - one last time.  I wanted to rub her velvety ears - one last time.  I wanted to kiss her soft furry face - one last time.

She was too little to climb the stairs - 15 years ago

 "I love you Sades" I whispered into her ear. "Go to sleep, my precious little girl."



I glanced at my husband sitting on the corner chair and saw the tears flowing freely down his face. We both loved her dearly - for 15 years.  She had been one of our favorite dogs and we have had many - at least 30.  Mercedez, like most of the dogs who we have had the privilege to love, was a rescue.  She was abandoned by her owner along with her siblings, when she was two weeks old.  An incredible gentle black Lab mixed with Dalmatian, giving her boundless energy.

She did not want to lie down.  She tried standing which was getting more difficult as the sedative started taking effect.  Eventually I was able to coerce her to relax.  I believe she knew what was happening and, as always, she just wanted to play or cuddle.

While I was out of town last week, my hubby said that Mercedez was failing fast but it had not prepared me for what I saw when I got home.  She could barely stand.  She was not sick.  She was not in pain.  She was old and weak and it was time.  I could not bare to see her like this and made the appointment for the next day.

Always Gentle - Always Calm

Hubby carried her into the clinic; and although they knew her as she regularly went in for her pedicures, they were amazed at her beauty and bright eyes.  Her coat was shining like a puppy's and she appeared to be around 12 years old - not going on 16!

Yet, here we were.  I was holding her one last time.  Of all the dogs we have had, I was the closest to Mercedez, Sades, Sader Bader, and most affectionately -  Mama's Girl.

When her "sister" (Babe, the German Shepherd) died, Sades mourned and was depressed for six weeks. When Texas (Mini Dachshund) died at Christmas, she grieved for two weeks.  She loved deeply and always expressed her emotion.  Now, it was my turn to grieve, to say good-bye to one of the greatest loves of my life.

As my brother recently said, "Losing a dog can sometimes be more difficult than anything else - they are usually closer to you than most family members."

As I kissed her one last time, she sighed heavily and started falling asleep.  I saw her legs twitching and I knew she was running up the mountain chasing those noisy squirrels.  I knew she was happy now. She would be anxious to catch up to her closest friends, Babe and Texas.

I Love You To The Moon and Back - R I P Sweet Mama's Girl

It is never easy to say good-bye and yet we keep rescuing these precious creatures who need a home and love.  In return, they give us unconditional love.  They care not what size, color, gender you are -- they just love you.

We rescued two little waifs in February and even though they didn't get to know Mercedez very well, they are still looking for her, and it breaks my heart.  But I know they understand more than we give them credit for and they are especially cuddly, licking my tears and telling me they love me.

I thought I would be a basket case when Mercedez passed but I was wrong.  Although I miss her - more than I even imagined.  I look for her when I get up in the morning waiting for the pittarpatter of her nails on the floor. I didn't fall apart because she had been preparing me for about a year.  Lately she stayed closer to me than ever - always wanting to be held and stroked.  The look in her eyes was saying "I'm leaving you soon.  Don't cry mom.  I'm tired and old.  I need to rest now."

When she didn't come out of her bed the last couple days - she was telling me "Mom, I'm ready now. I want to go see my friends and romp once again."

"Good bye, my love.  You were always loved and you always will be.  I will remember everything about you and tell my grandchildren.  Rest in peace, precious one."

Many of you have followed my blog for the past year and read the touching stories I have shared about Mercedez.  If you have missed them, here is a recap.  Mercedez loved writing letters; the one to the Toe Grips people is a must read if you have an elderly dog in your house.  It will make a huge difference in your dog's life.

My Dog Can Talk shares what all dog owners know.  Our dogs talk to us; all we have to do is learn how to listen to them.

Letter to My Aging Dog was written about Mercedez life and a celebration of what dogs are to us.

Letter of Gratitude from an Aging Dog is the letter she wrote to Toe Grips - so important to have this information.

Mercedez - Her Life