Why Do Abused Women Stay?

Bruised. Battered. Broken. Why did I stay? Why does anyone stay? Why does it require such great courage to leave a situation that was once a safe haven?

“If you leave me, I'll have nothing left to live for....” He knows which guilt buttons to push. Each time you realize you can no longer exist in the relationship those words resonate bringing another stage of guilt mixed with a dash of fear.

Playing the sympathy card is a common tactic used by an abuser to control you – the abused. Terrified he would take his own life if you leave, the guilt would be worse than your current state. So you stay.

When I finally was brave enough to leave, every scenario I played in my head did not include what actually happened.






He had me kidnapped, gang-raped and left for dead by my attackers. Even this did not satisfy his demented mind.  His anger over the possibility of losing control made him hold the photographs that my attackers took of me -- as ransom.

Is Your Hand Sanitizer Killing You? #7

We often use the phrase, "what you don't know won't hurt you" but when it comes to your health, the opposite is true.  

No one wants to believe that the food supplements/vitamins they are taking could harm them, especially if they have been recommended by a health care professional. But, unfortunately, there are more supplements on the market that can harm you, then there are those that can help you.

When I lecture on building immunity or how to realize optimum health, people are shocked to learn of the harmful and sometimes even life-threatening side effects resulting from taking OTC synthetic or natural-altered vitamin supplements.

All of us want to be healthy.  We take all the necessary precautions.  We try to eat healthy, exercise, maintain a good attitude and yet will consume vitamins laden with chemicals and petroleum (the base used for synthetic and natural altered supplements.)

What Happens When the Laws of Physics are Broken

The truth is often stranger than fiction. Many of us have had experiences in our lives that make us stop, shake uncontrollably and realize we should not have survived what happened.

Sometimes we play the tape over and over in our minds and cannot figure it out - there is no sensible explanation.

This is exactly what happened to me. No one on this planet will ever convince me of a reasonable explanation because there is none. What happened defies all laws of nature and physics.  I watched it happen.  I still can't believe it.

If you could read the balance of this post in a few seconds it would still be  s l o w e r  than the actual occurrence.

I May Be A Small Dog But I Dream Big

I come from strong stock.  I may be small in stature but I have always dreamed big.  When I dream, it is not only what I think about when I am awake, but also when I am asleep.  If I set my mind to something, you better believe that I will do it.  I am a very determined character.  Here I am with my big sister, Mercedez who went away last year and I miss her so much.

Dreams Do Come True

Even when I was very young, I knew that I wanted to be a husband and father and I never gave up hope that I would meet the perfect girl.  When I laid eyes on that Mexican senorita, I knew she was the one for me.

My 4-year-old Grandson has Questions about His Recent Marriage

When you live a crazy life, you should expect crazy things to happen.  When you keep doing the same thing over and over and expect different results, you are the crazy one.  I constantly look to the future when life will get easier, slow down a bit and then laugh out loud when I realize that may never happen.

To explain:  I have a lot of jobs, often wearing three or four hats at the same time on any given day.  This is normal for a Type A personality who is a perfectionist and believes that relaxing or sleeping is a complete waste of time.  Don't give me any lectures -- I've heard them all.  Most important thing:  I am NOT complaining. I love being busy.  

Consequently, the thought of doing this month's Fly on the Wall post seemed a bit overwhelming because so much happened in the past two months and it would be a really
l o n g post to share it all.  

View from my room

One highlight I will share with you is that I attended the Advanced Writers and Speakers Conference in Cincinnati and look forward to going back next year.  I learned so much in the workshops, made some incredible connections, made, even more, friends and got to see what it is like to live in 97-degree heat with high humidity.  

Our days were filled from early morning to late evening without time to shop or have any 'me' time -- loved it.  I certainly was not bored for one second.

I left the hotel each day to get to the closest restaurant - that was enough heat to last me until next year.  How do people live, work or BREATHE in that?

Sooooooooo........rather than bore you with all the incredible things that happened the last two months, I decided to do some snippets of the grandkids and their antics.

4-year-old grandson gets married

Sure-fire Way To Handle Discouragement

Do you ever get discouraged?  The definition of discouragement is 1) the act of making something less likely to happen or of making people less likely to do something 2)  a feeling of having lost hope or confidence

Find someone to make you smile

If that is the definition of discouragement, then what is the definition of encouragement?  It is 1) the act of making something more appealing or more likely to happen 2) something that makes someone more determined, hopeful, or confident

The interesting thing about the definition of both words is that discouragement and encouragement are an act that WE do.  It is not done TO us.  We perform the act.  We choose to be discouraged in a situation or encouraged by it and make the decision to change it.

In our darkest times, we need to find something or someone who we know will make us smile. It helps change our perspective and view the situation rationally.

When a Day at the Zoo Turns into a Horror Show

It started as a great idea.  I had no clue that my great idea would backfire and affect me for months - not in a positive way!

When I was a little girl, a highlight of my summer was a trip to the Detroit Zoo.  In later years my opinion of zoos did change as it began to bother me to see the animals caged rather than running free.  I realize that many of the animals in zoos are born in captivity and some have been rescued and given a new lease on life.

I certainly am not one who will rant and rave about this issue. I merely understand both sides.  But, I will probably never visit a zoo.  Ever.  Again.  I do realize that zoos have improved over the years and cages have been replaced with enclosed areas where the animals can roam freely but it still does not come close to what it should be and that is disturbing.

My husband and I have rescued over 30 dogs which made this subject close to my heart. 

Our children and grandchildren have grown up in rural areas so it was not unusual to see a bear wandering down the street and at times, arriving on your deck looking for garbage.

I heard about a "Game Farm" within three hours driving distance and imagined it would be a real treat for our grandchildren to see wild animals in their "natural" habitat.   The date was set.  It would be an adventure.  We loaded up three cars with everything we could possibly need.  Our lunch, umbrellas, granola bars for snacking on, sunscreen, bottled water, and some Frisbees to play with after lunch.

We were excited - young and old. 

Do You Want To Know A Secret?

Do you have secrets that you plan to take to the grave?  Are there things in your past that you want to bury and hope no one ever finds out about them?

Everyone has secrets. My mother-in-law had an undisclosed recipe for Rum Balls that she swore she would take with her when she died. And that she did.  No one ever figured out her secret ingredient.  But what good did it do for her not to share it so we could continue to enjoy her wonderful dessert?

There are secrets we hide, never discuss, and hope no one ever finds out.  We keep secrets to protect those we love or to prevent people from thinking less of us.