Bruised. Battered. Broken. Why did I stay? Why does anyone stay? Why does it require such great courage to leave a situation that was once a safe haven?
“If you leave me, I'll have nothing left to live for....” He knows which guilt buttons to push. Each time you realize you can no longer exist in the relationship those words resonate bringing another stage of guilt mixed with a dash of fear.
Playing the sympathy card is a common tactic used by an abuser to control you – the abused. Terrified he would take his own life if you leave, the guilt would be worse than your current state. So you stay.
When I finally was brave enough to leave, every scenario I played in my head did not include what actually happened.He had me kidnapped, gang-raped and left for dead by my attackers. Even this did not satisfy his demented mind. His anger over the possibility of losing control made him hold the photographs that my attackers took of me -- as ransom.