Do You Know How to Stay Focused During Trauma

Trauma affects us. Period. How it affects us can be either a negative or positive experience. But, turning a negative into a positive is often easier said than done, isn't it?

Sometimes we do not realize we have "been here before" until it's over. Pain works that way. Pain is just that - PAIN. When we are in the middle of it, it feels like a new experience. Yet, it rarely is.

There are many types of pain that we experience in life. There are times when we are blindsided and experience pain on a level we had not realized we were capable of handling. When we look back at those experiences we often wonder how we made it through -- but we did.  And we are stronger for it.

Pain takes on many forms in your life. Rejection, loss, physical or emotional trauma, abuse, divorce, the list goes on.

Pain and suffering we go through is much like childbirth. What? When a woman goes through childbirth, she can't stop halfway through. She does not have the choice to give up. She must go through the pain to reap the reward. Once the baby is born, the pain is rarely remembered.

The desire to move forward must be greater than the memory of past pain.  If not, women would never give birth to a second child. Until you have the desire to move ahead you will never forget the past struggles.

Many of us battle with the thoughts that we could never go through something again. What we must realize is that we DID make it through and if there is a next time we have an idea of what to expect and it will be easier.

 "I will make it through this!"  Repeat

It takes practice to remind ourselves that we will make it when we are in the middle of a painful situation just as it takes practice to look at a situation as a positive step in the right direction. It seems much easier to throw up our hands and quit.

Our thoughts and attitude can make or break us during a crisis.  Keep reminding yourself, many times a day, that you are STRONG,  that you WILL make it through, that NOTHING can get you down.

How we react is crucial

If we take on the attitude of a martyr: "Poor me, I don't deserve this.  It's not my fault. Things like this always happen to me.."  Then you can be assured that it will depress you and accomplish nothing.

If we take on the attitude of anger: "This is not my fault.  Someone needs to pay for what they did.  I am going to make them suffer." No matter what happens to us in life, if we hang on to unforgiveness, it always ends in bitterness and stress. It doesn't hurt the other person -- it hurts us.

Or we might choose to think the situation is hopeless and the more we tell ourselves that, the more hopeless it becomes. "I will never get through this.  What's the use of trying?" This creates a mindset that is not easy to change but one step at a time -- we can.  

When we choose NEVER EVER TO GIVE UP HOPE we will amaze ourselves how much our attitude changes and with that comes strength, comfort, and wisdom.

Choosing to push through the pain takes a conscious effort.  But when we realize that we are strong, that we can do it, and that we will make it - we will!  These are not empty words but based on facts and experience.  My memoir proves it - click here for Battered Hope

A quick outline of my memoir:

Loss of a child

Gang-raped and left for dead

Husband falsely imprisoned

Uterine cancer

Husband's car accident leaving him with permanent brain damage

The estrangement of our son

These were stepping stones – not setbacks because I chose to be a victor and not a victim. I can identify with you on many emotional terrains of love, loss, pain, heartbreak, and ultimately renewal.

 Keep like-minded people close and

negative ones at a distance

Get support around you - family, friends, associates, etc. When we are going through intense pain we don't need people to tell us how bad it is and that it appears hopeless. We need people to encourage us and tell us that we will make it through.

When a woman gives birth and the pain gets too intense, can you imagine if the people around her were telling her to hold back and NOT push?  Just as childbirth usually means intense pain, the benefits and rewards for that endurance make it all worthwhile.