Do You Live Life With Regrets?

Nothing makes you more aware of fleeting time than your birthday.  I believe each of us has our own timeline embedded in our mind as to how long we will live.  Many of us feel like we have crossed a milestone when we live beyond the number of years that our parents lived.

We are also constantly reminded how short life is; that we need to live it to the fullest and not have regrets.  We need to make sure we forgive those who hurt us, no matter how difficult that might be.  Science has proven that bitterness takes its toll on our psyche and can cause health issues resulting in a shorter life.  

Yet, as we approach our 'golden years' I am convinced this term means different things to
different people.  I have heard friends say how much they look forward to their senior years and retiring from work.  Many are anxious to travel and visit places they were never able to when they were working.

Some people may dread those years fast approaching and what it may mean to their health which is already compromised.

But if 40 is the new 60 then 50 must be the new 70.  I passed one of those turning points recently and cannot grasp the fact that time has marched on so quickly.  We all say that, "Where did the time go?"  or "It seems like only yesterday..."  When we think about it and remember all the accomplishments, failures, achievements, and heartbreaks, it shocks us back to reality.  When our children or friends have a birthday, we realize we, too, are aging even if we do not feel it.

I have tried not to think of my life in terms of a number of years.  I started a new career at an age when most people retire.  I am busier now than I have even been in my life.  I have no health issues and have the energy to burn.  When I am reminded of how 'old' the calendar says that I am, it is astonishing.  I am starting over without any thought of retirement.

Personally, I have many regrets but I refuse to dwell on them.  To do that, I would be severely depressed.  I know people who constantly talk about the past in a negative way; a bad marriage, wayward kids, their abusive childhood or any number of instances in their lives they wish they could change.

Life 'is what it is.'  It is what we make of it no matter how tough it may have been.  Attitude during and after extreme trauma will make or break us.  Period!  

I've had my share of terrible experiences.  My memoir smacks of at least 12 traumatic events that any one of them would devastate most people.  Most of those events were a result of people hurting or abusing me or my family.  They were not necessarily the result of a bad decision I had made.  Cancer.  Loss of a child, more than once.  Corrupt business partners who stole our thriving business (and yes, more than once).  Being gang raped and left for dead.  An abusive first marriage.  My husband serving a prison sentence when wrongfully accused (and later pardoned but the damage had been done)!

Each time I made the choice to not hold a grudge, to not seek revenge.  I knew that those who hurt us would one day pay dearly for what they did, even if I never found out about it.  It was my choice just as it is my choice to live my life as a victor or a victim.  I choose the former and it keeps me happy.

My precious husband of 46 years gave me a surprise birthday party this past week for one of those milestone birthdays.  After all these years together, I never had one clue he was planning this.  I was completely shocked and blessed by so many friends and family.  

At the party, my daughter suggested everyone share their fondest memory of me and here is one I will never forget.  I have known this gal for almost three decades which makes her aware of the grief I had endured.  She said, "I will never forget her laugh.  I remember the first time I heard it.  She has maintained that laugh no matter what life threw at her.  I wish I had that energy and that approach to life."

And that has always been my secret.  I keep laughing.  I try to entertain everyone I come in contact with -- even if it is for a moment in the grocery store line-up.  There are many sad people in the world and they need to have someone make them smile.  

Life is too short.  It goes by too quickly.  We can only live it once.  We do not get a restart button.

I think of my precious son every single day.  The greatest gift I could have received on this birthday would have been to hear from him.  But it did not happen.  He and his family walked out of lives almost seven years ago -- no explanation.  We have no idea why.  We cry.  We pray.  We believe that someday he will realize how much we love him and return.  Until then we have hope and it has to be enough for now.

Life is too short.  And sometimes, it may be too late.  We have no guarantee there will be a tomorrow.

This was a Secret Subject post in response to this month's blogging secret challenge.  It was:  Life is too short......

Other bloggers had different secrets to share -- here they are:

Baking in A Tornado
The Lieber Family Blog
The Bergham Chronicles
The Blogging 911
Cognitive Script 
Part Time Working Hockey Mom
Sparkly Poetic Weirdo
Climaxed