Do You Wanna Know A Secret? Do You Promise Not To Tell?

Do you have secrets that you plan to take to the grave?  Are there things in your past that you want to bury and hope no one ever finds out about them?

Everyone has secrets. My mother-in-law had an undisclosed recipe for Rum Balls that she swore she would take with her when she died. And that she did. No one ever figured out her secret ingredient. But what good did it do for her not to share it so we could continue to enjoy her wonderful dessert?

There are secrets we hide, never discuss, and hope no one ever finds out. We keep secrets to protect those we love or to prevent people from thinking less of us.

Sometimes we keep secrets because we would be too ashamed to admit the truth. We may even lie to keep up the facade. "No, I would never do that!" When, in fact, we did.

 

Maybe we found out something about someone that could destroy them if the truth came out. We choose to keep that knowledge to ourselves. At times, it may feel like it is burning a hole in our psyche because we want to share it -- but we don't. Or do we? Are you someone your friends can trust to keep their secret? Or will you reveal it if you feel it is necessary?  

Maybe we have a bad habit who was told by our doctor that we MUST quit. We continue to do it, hoping no one will discover the truth and we rationalize and lie to ourselves that it is only hurting us. But when we are hiding things that can potentially hurt us, we hurt those who love us. We assume it is no one's business when, in fact, it could be unfair to keep such a secret to ourselves. When discovered, it could hurt the ones we care about.  

 

Have you ever told someone a secret and then wish you had not?  I remember sharing a secret with a counselor who later told the entire group, using me as an example. I was mortified and he had no authority to do that - but it was too late. Sometimes, we don't share for that reason - we cannot fully trust the person to whom we are revealing our innermost mysteries.

Or is there something we did in our past that we believe would destroy our image if anyone found out?  I certainly felt this way for a lot of years. I struggled with writing my memoir Battered Hope because I knew I had to "come clean." I had to let go of the secrets that terrified me. I had to take a stand against the fear of losing friends and family members when they found out the truth.

So, why did I do it? The biggest reason was that my "secrets" and how I coped with them could be a great help to someone going through something similar.  

I discovered that when I revealed the things I wanted to bury I had tremendous relief. It helped people understand why I am the way I am or why I rise to the defense of someone going through something similar. It brought me closer to family and friends when they saw my vulnerable side.

How do you feel about revealing your secrets?  Do you wish you could but feel the truth may hurt someone or yourself?

Do Your Excuses Keep You From Being What You Were Meant To Be?

 

 Nothing can stop you - no matter how old you are

How many times have you awakened in the morning and wondered what happened with the past three, four, five, six, or seven decades?  Or have you looked into the mirror and felt it was unfair that life passed you by without giving you a chance to pursue the career you always wanted?  

As much as some people look forward to retirement, what if you don’t have the income to maintain the lifestyle you have grown accustomed to?  Then there is the backdoor threat of Alzheimer’s.  You may wonder how you are going to stay alert and focused when your days may only be filled with volunteer community work or gardening. 

I would rather work than play. If I don’t have any pressing jobs to accomplish, I create one. The few times I have focused on leisure instead of work, I got bored quickly. As the years were fleeting by and I remained in great health, I could not imagine living without an ongoing purpose or fulfilling a dream during my ‘golden’ years.

Choosing to be a victor instead of a victim

My life was not an easy one. I endured more problems than most people would be able to handle.  The more negatives life threw at me, the stronger and hopefully, wiser, I became.  But what good is that wisdom if I couldn’t put it to valuable use?

When my daughter was a teenager she started a crusade to encourage me to write my memoir. It started as a campaign and for ten years, she made it a threat. She had heard all my excuses and was not going to tolerate them any longer.  “Write your story or else!” Finally, I began the journey of writing my story.

I never would have believed it could be so difficult but it was also a driving force as the more I wrote the more I realized I had a message the world needed to hear.  It was a message of never, ever giving up – no matter what happens.

Stepping WAY out of a comfort zone

My husband and I were in our sixties when we opened three high-end jewelry stores and shortly after he was in a serious car accident which left him disabled.  We found ourselves thrown into a situation that did not allow us to quit our jobs, or sell our businesses.  We had to keep going.  We weren’t given a choice.

When I was in my twenties, I became a certified health coach after I was told I only had two years to live due to cancer.  I refused the normal invasive treatments and opted to cure myself with nutrition and food supplements.  After restoration, I promised to help people with their health issues until the day I die. 

Where was I going to find the time to write a book? I had no idea my life was about to start over with a new career.  I wrote late in the evenings; and after ten years triggered by painful memories, I was ready to launch my book.

I started a podcast to interview ordinary people who overcame extraordinary circumstances and became successful as a result.  In the first hour after posting my idea on the internet, I had over 100 requests to be on my show.  What show?  I swiftly trained myself how to podcast, edit, and promote my show. That was eight years ago and Never Ever Give Up Hope is now heard in over 140 countries with unending weekly requests to be part of the show.

I wanted to fulfill the dream of being an author, an international speaker, and a talk show host. At 67 these seemed like pipe dreams but I am now living them and looking forward to the next challenge.  As owner and operator of two jewelry stores, my health coaching business, traveling as a speaker, hosting and managing my talk show, writing for numerous magazines and anthologies, having my own monthly column in two magazines, being the bookkeeper for all the businesses, taking care of a disabled husband and rescuing dogs (over 30 to date)..... I launched a new YouTube channel and website two months ago that is growing faster than my greatest expectations.

Nothing is stopping you

We all have the ability and the right to choose what we do with our retirement years. My choice was to start over – doing what I wanted to do and helping many others be encouraged and challenged to NEVER EVER GIVE UP HOPE.

Never limit yourself by making excuses why you cannot do what you always wanted to do.  Find a way.  Set your goals.  You will never regret it.  It will sustain your youth.  You have much to offer – start giving it away.

Gang raped and left for dead
Cancer diagnosis
Loss of a child
Husband falsely imprisoned
BUT...Carol chose to be a victor instead of a victim

Do Fragrances or Music Trigger Special Memories for You?

Walking through the meadow, I could smell the wild lilies.  This was remarkable considering I know little to nothing about gardening and flowers.  But I do recognize the difference between a rose and a lily (most of the time). Fragrance always triggers memories for me as much as hearing a song from the past.  Especially Rock from the 60s and 70s like the ones played in What memories are triggered when you hear these songs?  

Today was a day of reflections and my walk in the quiet country was what this Type A gal needed. The potent smell of lillies took me back to the most beautiful wedding I ever witnessed - my daughter's.  

As mothers everywhere, we hope and certainly pray that our children will make us proud, and I am no exception. What surprised and blessed me was how incredible my daughter turned out. 

Watching her grow up and mature into a beautiful woman and mother, I am awed by her wisdom and trust I had a little something to do with that.  As a mom, you will relate to my heart-warming letter in Dear Daughter, Why Did You Turn Out this Way?


Continuing my walk I reflected on my life and the major turn it has taken these past few months.  For years, I was a charter member of the club for people who had low self-esteem or poor self-image yet could hide it well.  So well, in fact, no one ever guessed what had happened in my life, tainted by abuse,

How to Double Your Chance To Win - Giveaway

This is a Win-Win.  Everyone who enters is a winner because I will post all entry stories on my blog.  In addition, there are two opportunities to win an autographed copy of Battered Hope.   Click here to read the first couple chapters.