What Do You Think About More? Your Present or Your Past?

It is quite normal to wonder what would have been different if you had made a different decision. Would it have changed the direction your life took?  Hindsight and reflection are the best teachers. In light of the trauma, anxiety, and stress in many of our lives, it is common to think about the What Ifs and If Onlys. 

If you could go back 20 years for one hour and change the rest of your life, what would you change and why?

My life has been a tumultuous one - on every level, in every arena.  Often the storms would come one after the other but many times they would be happening at the same time.  Every year had turbulence and it would be impossible to attempt changing anything - it's done. Complicated.  Exhausting.  

In the light of a cancer diagnosis, loss of a child, being gang-raped and left for dead, total financial ruin, husband falsely imprisoned and more...it is easy to wish things had been different. HOWEVER, who we are today is a result of what happened yesterday. If we dwell on those setbacks and calamities, we can get stuck in self-pity. But, if we look at each situation as a stepping stone to something better and be thankful for what we learned through the crisis, we will not only survive but will thrive.

One of the questions I am asked most often is "How did you forgive the people who did those terrible things to you?"  My answer is always the same.  "I chose to forgive.  Choosing not to forgive would only hurt me more."

After writing my memoir, Battered Hope, my podcast was launched.  On Never Ever Give Up Hope my guests share how they overcame trauma in their lives.  As a result of what happened to me, I am able to help thousands of others. Without the experiences I had overcome, I would never have been able to be an encouragement and a voice for those hurting.

Isn't this the reason we on put on earth?  To learn, to grow, and to help others?  As painful as my life has been, I could never have replaced the lessons learned any other way.

I have consistently maintained the attitude that tomorrow will be a better day.  No matter what happens today, tomorrow is the opportunity to change what might have gone upside down today.

No matter what goes wrong or how difficult things may be -- it is NOT the end of your story.  We all have the right and the ability to make a difference to the end of our own story.

Consequently, the answer to the question would be:

I would not choose to change anything