WHAT WAS TAKING SO LONG? Then I heard a funny rustling sound as the door opened. I knew that sound. I L O V E D that sound. It meant she was bringing home food. Not my boring food -- this would be REAL people food.
She put some bags on the floor, opened the door to my prison and then she ran out the door again. I had a good smell of each bag. Nothing too exciting there.
She came back. More bags on the floor and she left again. Mmmmm, this one bag smelled amazing. I recognized that smell. It was like heaven. It was that yellow stuff that comes in plastic wrapping. This is the stuff she hides my pills in when she gives them to me. She calls it my treat and sometimes she calls it cheese.
Then she left me there with all these bags and went into that room that always sounds like water running. I knew she would be gone awhile. Surely she wanted me to have a look at all the bags and help myself to my special treats.
I was very quiet. I knew I could do it. Mommy would not care. The big yellow thing was really heavy. But, I'm close to the ground so I used all my strength to pull it out of the bag. WOW. It weighed as much as I did.
Now, how do I get to the yellow stuff? I took a bite. YES! That's the taste. It was a bit different but I think it was that junk on the outside of the yellow stuff -- it was hard to tear off. But I DID it. It was not easy to get the funny tasting stuff off of the cheese but it didn't matter.
Mommy is the best. She would want me to eat my special treats. I looked up. She was yelling at me. I don't know what she was saying but she was MAD. And she was mad at ME. She said some words I recognized. "Bad." "Naughty boy." "NO." "Bad dog."
Did I yell at her when she dresses me in those stupid clothes? NO! I tolerate it because I love her.
I might have been able to blame the cat but that stuff was hanging out of my mouth. I spit it out. I looked up at her with my big brown eyes. I sat down and whimpered a little bit. Then I jumped up and tried to kiss her. She said it again. "BAD DOG!"
But, I'm not a bad dog. It was HER fault. She left that food on the floor.....for ME. You might remember me. I made you smile many times in the past. I am a mini Dachshund named Louis Vuitton. And even when I get caught red-handed, it was worth it. Ya gotta love me.