Thursday, January 7, 2016

20 Things You Said You Would Never Do

Be honest with me.  How many of you have said "I'll never be like that when I get old?"  All of us have fallen short in some form or another by doing the things we swore we would never do.

do not do list

Most of us, who have children, made some hard and fast rules when we became parents.

"I will never yell at my children."  Come on, tell us, have you ever yelled at your kids?

"I will never allow my children to talk back to me."  Did you figure out a way to make them stop?

"I will be completely aware of where my child is at all times."  You own a leash?  Well, GPS is a good one.

"I will never allow my child to eat sugar."  So, what do you do, eat that candy bar while they watch?

"There is no way my child will ever pull the wool over my eyes.  I will know if he is doing something he should not be doing."  Were YOU ever a teenager?

"I will never lose my temper around my children."  Maybe not within ear shot?

"I will protect my child from anything and everything."  Will they be on a leash?

"My children will eat what is set before them."  How long did that last?

And the list goes on.  Sound familiar?

Then reality sets in and before we realize it, our kids are teenagers and we have to make decisions on a daily basis.   Curfew was set for midnight and it is 2 a.m.  You have absolutely no idea where your daughter is and you vacillate between being terrified and angry.  Depending on what state we are in when she finally does get home determines how we react.  Some of the things we said we would never have to do, well, you know.

I was walking with a woman in her thirties the other day and realized that my steps were just a bit shorter and a bit slower and it hit me -- hard!  When did this happen?  Wasn't it just yesterday that I sprinted when I walked?

Was this really 30 years ago? Now she has two kids of her own.

Think about the things you said would never happen - ever.

"I will stay fit."  Fit into what size again?

"I will never get fat."  As Bob Hope said, 'Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.'

"I will never wear shoes or clothes for comfort; I will always look sexy."  What happened to my feet?

"I will never have skin that sags."  At least not in the places that matter.

"I will always keep up this pace."  Actually I'm busier now than I ever was, so this one is true.

Are you KIDDING me?

"I will never make noise when I bend down or stand up."  Do all noises count?

"I will never lose my memory."   What memory?

"I will always keep up with the latest music trends and not listen to old people's music."  Define old.

"I will always love to party and stay up late."  As Woody Allen stated, 'You can live to be 100 -- if you give up all the things that make you want to live to 100.'

"I will never need glasses or hearing aids."  Fortunately, not yet.

"I will always be in control of body functions."  Define body functions.

"I will keep my mind sharp and never lose touch."  Touch with what?

When my daughter was a teenager and we would see how some 'old' people dressed, acted or walked I would say, "Honey, if I ever look like that, just take me out back and shoot me."  Now, I think that maybe I need to be sure she doesn't own a gun!

What are some of the things you said you would never do?  How's that working out for you?

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