Once we have said it..... it is spoken.
Once we have done it.....it is done.
Can we take back the words, undo the deed? No.
How much pain have we endured because of the choices we have made? I lived a good portion of my life in IF ONLY moments. At the time, I did not see any options and made choices which turned out to be devastating. Often, we are in a situation where we do not see any choice except for the obvious one. When we make that choice and realize it was the wrong one, what do we do?
We make choices every single day of our lives. Some choices seem very insignificant and we don't think about them; some can change our lives in a moment. If only we had a magic wand to change those moments.
I chose to marry the wrong person (first time around). I was warned. I didn't listen.
I chose to go into business with the wrong people and they stole my business.
I chose to trust people I should not have trusted and was arrested.
I chose to walk home that day and was kidnapped, raped and left for dead.
I chose to adopt two children and lost them both -- does the joy of having them for a little while make up for the pain of losing them?
I chose to try and kill myself because I thought I could not endure the pain any longer.
YET..........We make the choice to change our 'if only' moments
I am a victor, more than just a survivor. I learned how to take the pain, the mistakes, the bad choices and turn them around for good. I chose to laugh in spite of the pain and encourage those around me in similar circumstances. I can empathize and sympathize from a place that would not have been possible, if I had not experienced the losses.
We can't change what happened to us, but we can change our attitude. We can learn from our mistakes. We can choose to forgive those who have hurt us, abused us, robbed from us or.....we can choose to dwell on it, let it fester and destroy our world, our relationships, our health. What is done, is done. Dwelling on it or worrying about it changes nothing, except makes us bitter, angry or sad.
The flip side is we can move forward instead of living in the past. We cannot change the past but our attitude can affect our future.
Have you made some choices that you would give almost anything to undo? Or have you come to terms with those choices and forgiven not just those who hurt you but...... also forgiven yourself?
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